And remember kids, STOP SNITCHIN’.

Apologies to my readers for yesterday’s lack of a post. Some days, I just don’t feel like posting.

I proved myself incorrect last night, or perhaps the Golden State Warriors did, when they were eliminated from playoff contention. So to wrap up, yesterday, the Denver Nuggets “star” forward was arrested on suspicion of a DUI and they made the playoffs, all without having a game.

I’ve been paying a good amount of attention to the NHL Playoffs thus far (funny because I watched 3 regular season games and two were in person). The Penguins and Stars have both impressed me a ton thus far, more so the latter who has shut down the Ducks in both games played in Anaheim. On the flip side, the San Jose Sharks have to be the biggest disappointment of the playoffs, down 2-1 to Calgary, after leading 3-0, 3:30 in to their game on Sunday night. So as it stands, on April 15, I’m sticking with the Penguins winning the Cup, but I’ll have them doing it over the Stars (I didn’t pick a team in the West. I’m not sure why). I, as always, reserve the right to change this.

Joe Lunardi, who I hate, released his first Bracketology for next season yesterday. He has Duke, North Carolina, Texas, and Pittsburgh as his number 1 seeds. What he should have is a Pit Bull attached to his scrotum.

In a non-sports related topic, I am currently in the same city as the Pope.

Yesterday, Michael Beasley announced that he was entering the NBA Draft (as did his college teammate Bill Walker). Today, reports have surfaced that Derrick Rose will be joining him. Not that we didn’t already see that coming. I would like to give credit to Blake Griffin, who would have been a lottery pick, who last week decided to head back to Oklahoma for his Sophomore season. On the flip side, Eric Gordon of Indiana apparently thinks that he doesn’t need another year of seasoning at Indiana and is headed to a very abbreviated NBA career.

I’ve talked about my lack of desire for a Second Round NFL Mock Draft. Well, I’ve decided that I’m not going to do it. What I am going to do for you, the reader, is another First Round Mock Draft. I did the first installment exactly one month ago (okay, a month and a day) and a lot has changed since then. Scouts are apparently falling at the feet of Virginia OG Brandon Albert, who I originally had going to the Steelers at pick 23. Over the next two days, I will lay out Mock Draft Version 2.0. Todd McShay is already up to 7, so I don’t feel so bad about having 2. And at least I’m not doing a Mock Draft of the 2740 draft like Joe Lunardi, who will undoubtedly call for Zogon-71A (QB, UNH) going number one overall to the Uranus Hemmorhoidal Ointments. So, without further ado, picks 1-16. If you’re looking for witty team analysis, go back to March 13 and March 14’s posts.

1. Miami Dolphins
THE PICK: Jake Long (OT Michigan)

2. St. Louis Rams
THE PICK: Vernon Gholston (DE Ohio State)
Here’s the deal: I don’t think Gholston is a great prospect. What I do think is that enough people will become enamored with his speed and overlook the fact that he doesn’t play hard all the time. This is the NFL Draft, people. Common sense goes out the window.

3. Atlanta Falcons
THE PICK: Glenn Dorsey (DT Louisiana State)
The Falcons are enamored with Dorsey. If he’s there, they take him.

4. Oakland Raiders
THE PICK: Chris Long (DE Virginia)
This just makes too much sense doesn’t it?

5. Kansas City Chiefs
THE PICK: MATT RYAN (QB Boston College)
Word is that the Chiefs are going to take Brandon Albert here, which I really think is a reach. However, what happens if the Falcons don’t take Matty Ice? Do the Chiefs think that Brodie Croyle is their answer at quarterback? Or do they take the consensus number 1 QB in this draft?

6. New York Jets
THE PICK: Darren McFadden (RB Arkansas)
They’ll still be happy to see him here.

7. New England Patriots
THE PICK: Brandon Albert (OG Virginia)
Bill Belichick likely hasn’t slept thinking back to the Giants’ defensive line running over the Patriots’ offensive line. Albert is now the best offensive lineman on the board. There are other needs, (corner and linebacker) but those will get solved in the next 6 rounds.

8. Baltimore Ravens
THE PICK: Sedrick Ellis (DT Southern Cal)
Too much value for a defensive minded team to pass up on here. They have Haloti Ngata at DT, but there’s also something called a 4-3 defense, especially when your linebacker corp is as old and getting older as this one is.

9. Cincinnati Bengals
THE PICK: Keith Rivers (OLB Southern Cal)
Unlike in Mock Draft V.1, when Glenn Dorsey was available, he and Ellis are gone here. So it comes down to the linebackers or the secondary. I’m still high on Rivers, though others questioned my having him go to New England in V.1. And really, a cardboard cutout would be an upgrade on this teams’ defense.

10. New Orleans Saints
THE PICK: Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (CB Tennessee State)
While Aqib Talib is my top first round corner (remember ANTOINE CASON is my favorite. I can’t make this more apparent) concerns about his smoking pot a few times will drop him, because you know, that’s a good indicator of talent. Rodgers-Cromartie fills a need.

11. Buffalo Bills
THE PICK: Derrick Harvey (DE Florida) The Bills have issues all over the board, especially on offense. And yet, I have them going D here, because any of the receivers (especially after Malcolm Kelley’s insanely terrible pro day workout) are a reach here.

12. Denver Broncos
THE PICK: Ryan Clady (OT Boise State)
Their offensive line is not very good. This is the next best lineman on the board at the moment (though Chris Williams and Jeff Otah are not very far behind)

13. Carolina Panthers
THE PICK: Jeff Otah (OT Pittsburgh)
They’d apparently love Derrick Harvey, but the last time I checked, the Buffalo Bills are not the same as the Carolina Panthers. So, they go to the next need, which is tackle and big Jeff Otah.

14. Chicago Bears
THE PICK: Chris Williams (OT Vanderbilt)
This is just a thoroughly exciting portion of the draft. Three consecutive offensive lineman selected as America falls asleep.

15. Detroit Lions
THE PICK: Jerod Mayo (OLB Tennessee)
When your defense is terrible, you tend to take the best available guy. Mayo is, like Brandon Albert, moving up the draft boards. I might go corner here as well. Speaking of which…

16. Arizona Cardinals
THE PICK: Leodis McKelvin (CB Troy State)
Much like Detroit, their defense isn’t exactly “good.” So McKelvin is a help here.

Tomorrow, I will complete Mock Draft V.2. But do you think I’m done today? I scoff at that notion.

As a way to apologize to anyone who came here yesterday looking for a post, only to find nothing. I give to you V.1 of my MLB Awards. We’re about 10% (it’s actually about 8%, but 10% is a nice easy number) through the MLB season at this point. I will do this 10 times this year. So lets hand out some awards, not for potential, but for where we are right now:

AL MVP: Joe Crede (3B Chicago White Sox). Crede has crushed pitching thus far and the White Sox find themselves in second in the AL Central. The chance that he wins AL MVP at the end of the season, however, is about 0%.

NL MVP: Mark Reynolds (3B Arizona Diamondbacks). Reynolds, much like Crede, has tore the cover off the ball through the first 10% of the season and the Diamondbacks find themselves in first in the NL West. Again though, no chance of winning this award when it really counts.

AL CY YOUNG: Zack Greinke (SP Kansas City Royals). The Royals are in first place and Greinke is the reason why. He’s 3-0 with a 0.75 ERA. Greinke could win this award at season’s end. I’m completely serious. 10% chance.

NL CY YOUNG: Ben Sheets (SP Milwaukee Brewers). He has been completely dominant and just edges out Jake Peavy, for now, because he has more strikeouts and less walks than Peavy, and a lower ERA. Sheets can win this award, but he’ll need to stay healthy. His chance of doing winning the Cy Young is about 20%

AL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: David Murphy (OF Texas Rangers). This is only because there are so few AL rookies who have qualified stats in either pitching or hitting. Only 3, actually: Daric Barton (1B Oakland), Nick Blackburn (P, Minnesota), and Murphy. Murphy has the best statistics. He has 0% chance of winning this award.

NL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Johnny Cueto (SP Cincinnati Reds). Mind-defying numbers. 20% chance of winning this award. (Note: My preseason pick of Justin Upton to win this award was wrong, because apparently, he’s not eligible for it. So that’s nice).

AL MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Trey Hillman (Kansas City Royals). Chance of winning this award is about the same as Greinke’s of winning his.

NL MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Freddi Gonzalez (Florida Marlins). Chance of winning this award is about the same as mine of winning any.

Game O’ The Day: Washington Capitals @ Philadelphia Flyers (Game 3, Series tied 1-1) Also look for the Canadiens and Bruins (Mon. leads 2-1…and win tonight), Anaheim and Dallas (Dal. leads 2-0…and win tonight), San Jose and Calgary (Cal. leads 2-1…and lose tonight), and Minnesota and Colorado (Min. leads 2-1…and take a 3-1 lead tonight).