I originally went with “neck,” but decided that wouldn’t be painful enough.

I loathe Sasha Vujacic. My hate for Kobe Bryant is well known, I feel. There is no other Laker I despise more than Kobe Bryant. However, Sasha Vujacic, you ma’am are so mind-defyingly loathsome that I can easily place you as the second most hate-able player on what is not a team, but is a group of players: The Los Angeles Lakers.

I don’t understand how people can root for that group of players. For once, Boston fans should rejoice at the fact that the TV guys want the Celtics to win. Beyond the fact that Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson are the two best color commentary guys in TV basketball, they’re also the most honest. They clearly hate the Lakers. Mike Breen, who I don’t love (I would prefer to see ESPN use TNT’s Kevin Harlan. The agreement would be easy. They advertise each other’s games. I’m sure TNT would allow ESPN to use one of their announcers. And we’d get to hear the phrase, “Right Between The Eyes!” repeatedly. I’d also really enjoy Marv Albert. And the nostalgic in me would really prefer Bob Costas. But I digress…) is forced by the people in his ear to be as straight as possible. All play-by-play men are supposed to be. What makes this broadcasting team different is that Van Gundy calls Breen out when he’s inventing positive things to say about the Lakers. Van Gundy and Jackson see that the Lakers do not play as a team. They play, as I’ve pointed out many times in this post, like a group of players. They scowl at each other. They yell at each other. Van Gundy pointed out the difference in the benches. The Lakers bench sits and watches the game with as much enthusiasm as the elitist blowhards who paid a sum of money I cannot comprehend to say they were at the game do. The Celtics bench stands and cheers and comes out onto the court to congratulate or support their teammates when timeouts are called. (If there is someone who is a true Lakers fan who reads my blog, I would love for them to argue that the previous paragraph was wrong. I don’t want devil’s advocates. I want true Laker fans. Are there any?)

I don’t have a lot to say about last night’s game. Well, I do. Here are my thoughts:

1.) Dick Bevetta? Yea? Dick Bevetta got this assignment?:
David Stern needs to be stopped. David Stern, the NBA’s commissioner, had the testicular fortitude to assign Dick Bevetta to last night’s game. There is an ongoing investigation of Dick Bevetta’s possible involvement in fixing NBA games that he himself refereed. This all stems from the Tim Doughnahy investigation. Doughnahy, a former NBA referee, bet on basketball games that he officiated. That’s a no-no. Well, Dick Bevetta, who died in 1976 but is still calling actual NBA games, is being investigated by the federales. So imagine my indignation that Dick Bevetta would be assigned to ref last night’s game. In LA. With the NBA pulling for maybe another game in the series. Because the TV ratings are up. And when TV ratings are up, advertising dollars are up. And money is good. I’ve been trying to ignore the Bevetta thing in the playoffs. I’m trying to enjoy a great NBA playoffs and a great Finals matchup. And the only Boston team I really love being on the cusp of their first title in 20+ years. Their first title of my knowing life. But it’s hard to do that when Dick Bevetta’s rotting corpse is propped up to officiate Game 5 of the NBA Finals in Los Angeles. David Stern sucks.

2.) Bad officiating
Paul Pierce was fouled by Kobe Bryant on his “great” “steal” in the 4th quarter. Paul Pierce was fouled ten seconds earlier when he rebounded a missed free throw. He was MAULED! Kevin Garnett could have been attacked by cheetahs in the paint and there would have been no fouls called. However, when Kevin Garnett makes a clean block on a Pau Gasol shot, it’s a foul. His fifth foul. A lot of people don’t like to complain about officiating. They say that you should win the game no matter what. Those people are wrong. Dead wrong. It’s hard to win a tightly contested game when the other team is allowed to play tighter and more physical defense than you are.

3.) Paul Pierce…Paul Pierce…Paul Pierce
I would be the biggest liar in the world if I told you that I loved Paul Pierce. I’ve gone through periods where I didn’t like Paul Pierce. I’ve called for him to be traded about 390 times…in the last year. I’ve been wrong. Paul Pierce has stepped his game up when it mattered. I’m not the only person to say this. Everyone is drinking the new “Truth” flavor of Kool-Aid. He’s the reason why the Celtics are up 3-2 heading home for Tuesday night’s Game 6. While the previously deceased Ray Allen has resurfaced as Zombie Ray Allen and has been great offensively, Pierce’s defense on Kobe Bryant has been beyond great. Find a word for it and send it to me. Pierce is the Finals MVP so far.

4.) Rajon? Rajon? Where are you???

5.) Someone tell me how Sam Cassell is still alive? Am I the only one who has been sending him rabid badgers?

6.) Doc is still outcoaching Phil Jackson.

Frankly, I expect the Celtics to win this series. I know I have a penchant for jinxing. But, really, don’t we all? I was not even remotely nervous about last night’s game. They didn’t really have anything to lose, besides the game. They’re still up 3-2. They’re still playing the last two games in the North End. And most importantly, they’re still the better team. Well, the only team.

Game O’ The Day: 18-hole playoff for the US Open title between Rocco Mediate and Tiger Woods. That just edges out the Florida Marlins/Seattle Mariners blood feud that features tonight’s marquee Andrew Miller vs. Carlos Silva pitching matchup.