There’s two schools of thought here: 1.) I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about Michael Phelps and 2.) Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is talking about the kid (I can call him that. He’s younger than me). Deservingly so. As with anything, there’s a backstory to the next paragraph. As late as last Thursday, I hated Michael Phelps. I rooted against him. I gave Amanda a hard time because she loved Phelps (she was the first person I know on the PhelpsWagon). My dislike of Phelps was rooted mostly in jealousy. Here’s this 23 year old goofy looking kid (with an underbite…just like me) who is in better shape than a 1968 Shelby Cobra that has sat under a tarp, in a garage since it left the assembly line. There was also that “something,” that I didn’t like about him. He wasn’t terribly humble. And really, in my mind, he was just a swimmer. I mean, it’s swimming.

Well I’m an asshole. Because now here I sit with a theoretical (and who knows, maybe literal) hard-on for the greatest swimmer ever and the greatest Olympic athlete ever. Ever. I have watched every final, ever semifinal, and even the occasional pre-semi heat that Phelps is involved in. Sunday night’s 4×100 relay race will sit, deservingly so, on a mantle with the 1980 Men’s Hockey team’s Semi-Final win in Lake Placid.

There’s really not a lot I can say about Michael Phelps that any other media outlet hasn’t said. He’s been more dominant than the 1992 Dream Team. He’s quite possibly the best athlete ever. And I was a fool to dislike him before I found this out.

I’m writing this a day early (on Thursday) because I have to work tomorrow. I just found this out 3 hours ago. Accordingly, there’s no way in the world that I’m going to write a 3,000 word post right now outlining the entire College Football landscape. So what I will do is break down two of the lesser Big Six conferences. I know that a lot of you (Ryan…Matt…Jim) would like to see me break down the UNH/Army game on Sept. 6. I can’t. I mean really, that would be foolish. Army isn’t any good. I don’t think they’ll beat UNH.

With that said, let’s get started with the ACC:

I would and will argue that this is the worst of the Big 6 conferences. There are exactly 0 teams in the ACC that I think can win a national championship this year. The bottom of the ACC is only outdone by the bottom of the Big East, which I’ll look at next. Let’s start with the ACC’s Atlantic Division:

-Last year, the BC Eagles won the ACC Atlantic Division. That won’t happen this year. The loss of Matt Ryan cannot really be understated. The defense is the one thing that can keep BC alive in the mid-tier bowl chase. I don’t see Chris Crane filling Matty Ice’s shoes terribly well. There’s a lot of hype about the Clemson Tigers being the best team in this conference and on paper, they are. And that’s the problem. Anytime a Clemson team has come into the season with high expectations, they finish around 6-5. Wake Forest is the best team in the Atlantic Division to me. They have a capable senior quarterback in Riley Skinner and the best defense in the division. Look for the Demon Deacons to continue their revival with a spot in the ACC Title game. As for the rest of the conference, it’s very mediocre. Not nearly as bad as the bottom of the Coastal division, but still not very impressive.

-Turning to the aforementioned Coastal division, this is really supposed to be Virginia Tech’s division. You have Georgia Tech transitioning to the wishbone, Duke being Duke, and Virginia without a quarterback. That leaves the Miami Hurricanes and the trendy (ahhhh!) North Carolina Tar Heels to contend with the Hokies. I’m always willing to go out on a limb. I think this is the Miami Hurricanes year to return to some sort of glory.

Here’s the final breakdown for the ACC in my mind:

Atlantic Division:
1.) Wake Forest
2.) Clemson
3.) Florida State
4. Boston College
5.) Maryland
6.) North Carolina State

Coastal Division:
1.) Miami (FL)
2.) Virginia Tech
3.) North Carolina
4.) Georgia Tech
5.) Duke
6.) Virginia

(And no, I’m not kidding. I think Virginia is going to go winless in the ACC this year. Duke will win a game.)

Game of the Year: 10/9 Clemson @ Wake Forest.
Player of the Year: Riley Skinner (QB/Wake Forest)

-We now transition to the Big East. This is a two team race conference. (Don’t worry, the NCAA Football Season Preview will get much more interesting next week). Last year, West Virginia suffered a crippling loss to the South Florida Bulls in Tampa that helped to put the Bulls on the national map. South Florida returns junior quarterback Matt Grothe and this season’s front-runner for Big East Defensive Player of the Year George Selvie. Their biggest loss will be cornerback Mike Jenkins, but they should be able to fill his vacancy easier than, say, Louisville trying to fill the vacancies left by Brian Brohm, Mario Urrudiha, and Harry Douglass. The other contender here is the West Virginia Mountaineers who lose their top back (Steve Slaton), top receiver (Darius Reynaud), and bruising fullback (Owen Schmitt). Everyone seems to think that the Mountaineers are the favorite though because Pat White is a “big game quarterback.” I remind those people, as a fan of West Virginia Football, that in the 2 biggest games of the season last year for WVU (@S. Florida and vs. Pittsburgh) Patrick White got hurt in both games, and had exactly 0 touchdowns passing or rushing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Patrick White, but I’m a little hesitant to say that he’s a “Big Game Quarterback.” In terms of replacing Slaton, the Mountaineers should be fine plugging in sophomore speedster Noel Devine, so long as he stays out of trouble in Morgantown.

Beyond WVU and SFU, there’s a smattering of middle-of-the-road teams in the 8 team Big East with party crashing potential. Pittsburgh is young, but loaded with talent (think a Big East Miami). UConn is mediocre, but a mediocre team that finished tied for the Big East title last year. Rutgers lost Ray Rice, but they’re deep at receiver and return Mike Teel at the quarterback spot. And Cincinnati may get an extra year out of quarterback Ben Mauk, if his suit against the NCAA for an extra year of eligibility goes his way. If Mauk does not return, the Bearcats will still be in capable hands with senior QB Dustin Grutzka. Any one of these teams can win the Big East if we have a season like last year’s in college football (upset laden). While SFU and WVU are the cream of the crop, the rest of the crop isn’t so far away from the cream stage. At least most of it.

Here’s the Final Breakdown:

1.) West Virginia
2.) South Florida
3.) Cincinnati
4.) Pittsburgh
5.) Rutgers
6.) UConn
7.) Louisville
8.) Syracuse

Game of the Year: 12/6 South Florida @ West Virginia
Player of the Year: Noel Devine (RB/West Virginia)

So there you have it. That is what you can expect in the coming week(s). The next time I do Mid-Atlantic Bias, I’ll have the Big 12 (remember, my national champion comes from this conference) and the Big 10.

Have a great weekend, anyone who took the initiative to read this without an alert.