I’ve never watched an episode of The Apprentice. TV is not really my deal unless its cable news or sports. But if I’m to understand correctly, hair-flip enthusiast Donald Trump hosts that TV show and fires people from it, because TV. If that’s true, perhaps Dwight Howard could put on a wig and get his own TV show.

Yesterday, in an act that reeked of desperation, sadness, and unrealistic expectations, the Orlando Magic fired head coach Stan Van Gundy and General Manager Otis Smith, all to make soon-to-be free agent Dwight Howard happy. You see, the Orlando Magic’s ownership believes that if they give Dwight Howard everything he wants, he will decide to stay in central Florida when his contract expires after next season. And Dwight Howard doesn’t like Stan Van Gundy, for reasons unclear to most people. Perhaps he’s too good looking.

Have you ever seen a relationship where one person does everything they possibly can do keep their partner from leaving them, even though everyone knows that they’re going to leave and they’re likely already cheating on them?  “Buy you fancy dinners? Sure!”  “Oh, you want one of those fancy three-wheeled motorcycles?  I’ll buy you two!!” “I love you soooooo much!!!!!!! DON’T YOU LOVE ME TOOOOOO???????????”

Meanwhile, the partner is already talking it up on the AIM with some hottie from Los Angeles. 

Well, yesterday, the Orlando Magic became a desperate boyfriend or girlfriend, trying unrealistically to make their partner happy. Doing everything they can (even firing a really good basketball coach with a  .641 career winning percentage) to trick themselves into thinking that they won’t get dumped for Kobe Bryant in a year.

If the Orlando Magic were a person, we’d feel bad for them. I know I would. You hate to see a good person have their heart broken. The Orlando Magic are not a person though. They’re an organization. A business. Businesses cannot be run to satisfy one employee. Even Donald Trump knows that.

Now that the LA Lakers have been eliminated, Kobe can have more time to get on AIM with Dwight Howard to talk about building their dream home together.

Even with a comfortable 3-1 series lead, the Oklahoma City Thunder did what they needed to do last night and knocked out the Lakers, behind two solid performances from Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant. Kobe Bryant scored 41 points and had as many assists in the game as Max Young did.

OKC will now face the red-hot San Antonio Spurs in the Western Conference Finals. Game 1 is Sunday in Texas.

In the East, the Boston Celtics dominated the Philadelphia 76ers, en route to a 101-85 victory. The Celtics can close out Philly, if they so choose, tomorrow night in the City of Battery Throwing.

The New Jersey Devilszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In a game the Nationals needed to win (more on that in a second), they did. Barely.

Starting off a long inter-division road trip, the Nats had to travel first to Philadelphia. Gio Gonzalez turned in a solid outing, throwing 6 innings of shutout ball, surrendering only 3 hits, while striking out 9.

With a 2-0 lead heading into the bottom of the ninth, the Nats called on embattled closer Henry Rodriguez, who promptly got all “Henry” on the Phillies. That is to say, he threw a lot of wild pitches and had to be rescued by Sean Burnett (again). And so that, friends, should just about do it for the Henry Rodriguez era in Washington.

With their 2-1 victory, the Nats are now ½ game back of the Braves for first in the AL East. The win last night is big because they’ll have to face Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels in the next two games of the Phillies series. Jordan Zimmermann will oppose Halladay tonight. Game time is 7:05 p.m.

Pacers @ Heat (8:00 p.m./TNT) With the series tied 2-2, Miami will look to take back home court advantage while LeBron will continue to be not clutch and only put up a 40/18/9 line.

Kings @ Coyotes (9:00 p.m./NBCSN) The Kings will look to advance to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since the Wayne Gretzky days.