Saturday marks the start of the Barclays Premier League season and the end of my long (okay, three months), sad period of not having English football to watch on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
Last year, the BPL (or EPL if you’d like) became a regular part of my weekend life. I root for Manchester City (my adopted team because I’m a front-runner and really, what does it matter who I choose to root for), root against Manchester United because, while I’m a front-runner, I hate the one thing that everyone loves, and find myself mostly indifferent to Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal, Liverpool, and Everton. And I acknowledge the existence of the other clubs. They are real things that exist on Earth.
I’ve written the “you should watch the EPL” post already. I’m not going to rehash that. I did want to try to predict the final table (the standings) and a few other things though. And, while I’m here, I should remind you that soccer (or football, again, if you’d like) is a really simple and beautiful sport and you’re kind of a dolt for not liking it just on principle because it wasn’t invented in Toledo, Ohio and teams don’t get 6 points for a goal. That’s all.
FINAL STANDINGS:
Relegated to nPower (Nope, it’s SkyBet now) Death:
20. Crystal Palace
19. Aston Villa
18. Newcastle United
Hanging on by a Thread
17. Fulham
16. Hull City
15. Stoke City
Just There
14. Southampton
13. West Bromwich Albion
12. Sunderland
11. Norwich City
Surprising Newcomer
10. Cardiff City
Exciting, If Not Also Completely Irrelevant
9. West Ham United
8. Swansea City
Liverpool and Everton
7. Everton
6. Liverpool
The Five Clubs That Matter
5. Arsenal
4. Chelsea
3. Tottenham Hotspur
2. Manchester City
1. Manchester United
Picking United to win is boring, yes, but they’re the smart pick. I would truly give Tottenham a thought if I was convinced that Gareth Bale would be playing there all season. I’m not entirely convinced though. Their addition of Roberto Soldado, I think, might be the most impactful transfer of the EPL offseason. He strengthens Spurs’ biggest weakness from last season which was their attack, outside of Bale. He gives them a real second option and will take a lot of pressure off of Bale, if he doesn’t end up in Madrid.
Arsenal came on very strong at the end of last season, but did absolutely nothing in the offseason, which is a strange tactic for a team that finished a distant fourth behind the champions United. There’s talk that they’re not done with the transfer window, but really, can you be done with something you haven’t started?
Chelsea brought back former coach Jose Mourinho to appease their obnoxious fans who just couldn’t stomach being coached by Rafa Benitez. Chelsea finds itself fourth here because of the strong possibility that centerback David Luiz will be Barcelona-bound by the time I hit publish on this post and because I have a sneaking suspicion that Mourinho will rely too much on his old Chelsea players, rather than on young stars Eden Hazard, Juan Mata, and Romelu Lukaku. He has a history of stifling young, offensive-minded players (Cristiano Ronaldo on line 1). But Chelsea fans got what they wanted, and that’s all that matters.
City sent out mercurial striker Carlos Tevez and brought in former Malaga coach Roberto Pellegrini to smooth out the offensive attack. I like the addition of Jesus Navas quite a bit and if Sergio Aguero stays healthy (which didn’t happen in 2012-13) I think they’ll form the core of perhaps the best offensive club in the EPL.
But…..
United has the best all-around squad and probably the best coach in the EPL in David Moyes. Moyes did more with less at Everton at a consistent level. At United, he’ll be allowed to do more with more. And I also think it might be good for United to step out of the shadow, so to speak, of former coach Sir Alex Ferguson. Not that history wasn’t already good to the Red Devils.
And…just for fun, the three clubs who will be promoted from SkyBet to the Premier League for the 2014-15 season: Brighton and Hove Albion (that’s amazingly one team), Leicester City, and Charlton Athletic.
Mid-Atlantic Bias 