There are three types of teams in the NBA:

1. Championship caliber teams
2. Fringe playoff teams
3. Lottery teams

In baseball, you get surprises like the Pittsburgh Pirates (not quite a surprise to some, certainly) this year, the Orioles and Athletics last year, etc.

In football, you get the Minnesota Vikings and Indianapolis Colts making the playoffs last year and the Kansas City Chiefs going from worst to first this year.

Hockey is a crapshoot all the time.

The NBA? Not so much.

In the NBA, in the words of the immortal Dennis Green, you are who (we) thought you were.

There are more than a handful of teams that have absolutely no hope this season. Those teams are, in some order:

Phoenix
Philadelphia
Toronto
Boston
Charlotte
Milwaukee
Sacramento
Portland
Utah

One of those 9 teams is very likely going to finish with the NBA’s worst record. None of them are going to make the playoffs. They are truly the have nots.

Phoenix and Philadelphia are especially terrible. Philadelphia is one of the more perplexing franchises. Two years ago, the 76ers were taking the Boston Celtics to 7 games in the Eastern Conference Semifinals. Last year, they took a step back. But the Sixers had some great young assets. Had.

The Sixers took their best young asset, Jrue Holliday, and shipped him to New Orleans in a draft night trade. Now, 9 of their 15 rostered players are entering their third NBA season or less. They’re very young and coached by first-time head coach Brett Brown. Everything about what they’ve done in the past six months screams “We Want Andrew Wiggins!”

In their way (besides the whole “lottery” aspect of determining the top pick in the draft) are the Phoenix Suns who are, on paper, perhaps the worst NBA team ever. They’ll also be coached by a first-time head coach, albeit with a more recognizable name than Brett Brown, in Jeff Hornacek. I think there’s a solid chance that the Suns will challenge the 2011-12 Charlotte Bobcats for futility.

Then there are the teams that could make the playoffs and be eliminated in the first round, or could have a subpar year and finish 34-48. These teams are going nowhere in particular this season. In the big picture, some are getting better (Cleveland, New Orleans) while others are just merely existing (Atlanta, Dallas, Memphis). Those teams are, in some order:

Detroit
Atlanta
Dallas
Cleveland
New Orleans
Denver
Los Angeles Lakers
Minnesota
Orlando
New York
Washington
Memphis

Now, there’s a large gap in that group between New York at the top and Orlando at the bottom. But these are the 2013-14 also-rans. New Orleans will be fun to watch on a Tuesday night in January when there’s nothing else on. But you’re not going to invest your time and energy (and financial backing in the form of legal betting) on the New Orleans Pelicans to win the 2013-14 championship. And unfortunately, Vegas does not accept bets for most fun team to watch. If they did, I might be putting money on the Pelicans and Cavs.

And then, there’s the big guns. The eventual NBA champion is below. Again, in no particular order:

Miami
Chicago
San Antonio
Oklahoma City
Los Angeles Clippers
Brooklyn
Indiana
Houston
Golden State

Do I actually think that Houston is going to win the NBA championship? No. Same thing with Brooklyn and Golden State. Would I be surprised if any of those 3 teams got to their conference finals? No.

Miami, Chicago, and Indiana are the class of the East.

San Antonio, LAC, and Oklahoma City are the class of the West.

I’m going to cut to the chase here. I think the 11 games the Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat play this season will be great to watch. I think they’ll go to 7 games in the Eastern Conference Finals. At the end of the day, seven months (?!) from now, I still like the Heat because of LeBron James, the best basketball player in the world. For the next few years, he’ll only continue to get better. And while Derrick Rose looked great in the preseason, lets see how he looks after a back-to-back or four games in six nights. The Bulls are deeper. But the Heat have the king.

Out west, it’s a little more open. Ultimately, I like the Clippers. Chris Paul is hungry for a title. I love the additions of Darren Collison and JJ Redick to the Clipper bench. Oh, and I have a certain fondness for the guy on the bench, coaching the team.

In the finals, I like the Clippers. Yes, the Clippers.

Doc Rivers makes a difference on that team. So too do the bench additions of Collison and Redick (as well as Jared Dudley). The Clippers are a more complete team than the Heat. The Heat certainly have the best player in LBJ. But the Clippers have the best team. They’re as deep, if not deeper, on the bench, as the Bulls, with a much more balanced starting lineup, led by a healthy, hungry Chris Paul.

AWARDS (at least the two that mean something)!!!

NBA MVP: LeBron James
NBA Rookie of the Year: Victor Oladipo (Orlando)