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Bias Bulletin
Bias Bulletin
Bias Bulletin
Every morning, I send an email to my sports-averse coworkers detailing the biggest events in the sports world that day. This is to help them better converse with the sport-obsessed among us. I will publish this email every morning as the Bias Bulletin.
Perfection
If you read Friday’s Bulletin, you were left with a bevy of options for the “Game of the Weekend.” Nowhere, on Friday, did you read that Saturday’s Seattle Mariners/Chicago White Sox game would be the game we’d remember. But the truly great thing about sports is that you just never know. That’s why you never leave a game early. And that’s why you should never take for granted a pitching matchup that features Blake Beaven and Philip Humber.
On Saturday afternoon, Humber pitched 21st perfect game in MLB history. No hits. No walks. Not a single base runner. 27 men came to the plate. All 27 were retired. It was a great moment for a really nice guy who has, over the course of his career, had some tough times. Humber was once the top prospect in the New York Mets system, drafted 3rd overall in 2004 out of Rice University. He was the centerpiece of the prospect package that the Twins received from New York when they traded Johan Santana, even after he underwent Tommy John surgery. Then, like many Rice pitchers before him, Humber’s arm continued to fail him. He bounced around Minnesota’s system, before landing in Kansas City briefly. The Royals would waive him. He’d be claimed by the Athletics. The Athletics would waive him. He would be claimed by the White Sox. Entering last season, Humber appeared as though he’d enter the long list of top pitching prospects to wxit the game more quietly than they arrived (let’s call this the Bryan Bullington All-Stars). Then, something happened. Humber was the most reliable starting pitcher for the White Sox last year. His numbers were not elite, but he found a way to pitch effectively with slightly diminished stuff. His location was better. In short, he was better.
Saturday was the continuation of a long journey back for a guy who could have easily given up. Instead, Humber, on a weekend replete with sports stories, became the headliner. It was a much deserved return from (and for some, introduction to) the brink.
Ron Artest Elbowed a Man in the Head Because He is Ron Artest
Yesterday’s Thunder/Lakers game could easily have led the sports news on merits alone. The Thunder controlled most of the first three quarters. Then the Lakers surged, forced two overtimes, and pulled away late to win by 8.
Instead of talking about a really good basketball game though, wouldn’t you know it, we’re talking about Ron Artest being Ron Artest. Late in the second quarter of the game, Artest made a nice move to the basket and executed a dunk, as Thunder forward Serge Ibaka trailed him. It was, for any player, a solid move. Artest, in celebrating, pounded his chest and bumped into Thunder guard James Harden. He then took his left arm and swung it wildly at Harden, connecting directly with his head. Harden crumbled to the floor cradling his head. Meanwhile, Artest, with Ibaka and Kendrick Perkins pursuing him, backpedaled, mugging angrily at the Thunder players, and grabbed his crotch. Artest was ejected and will face a suspension that most experts believe will be for 5 games. Harden, meanwhile, suffered a concussion and will be out until he can pass a series of tests. The NBA playoffs begin on Saturday.
Enjoy The President’s Trophy
The National Hockey League gives out a trophy annually to the club with the regular season’s best record. This year, the Vancouver Canucks were the recipient of that trophy. Ironic then, that the Canucks now find themselves eliminated from the playoffs, after just five games. Last night, behind the solid goaltending of Jonathan Quick, the Los Angeles Kings won their first playoff series in a decade, beating the Canucks 2-1 in overtime. The Kings won the series 4-games-to-1.
Elsewhere in the playoffs, the Philadelphia Flyers closed out their series with the Pittsburgh Penguins, while the Boston Bruins, after losing Game 5 at home, returned the favor yesterday in Washington, forcing a Game 7, back in Boston, on Wednesday night.
Your Daily Washington Nationals Update
The Nationals have today off and had yesterday’s game postponed due to rain. However, that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing to talk about today.
The Nats are currently 12-4. They’re 8-2 in their last 10 games. They won both games this weekend against the Miami Marlins, a team that has given the Nationals fits over the previous 5 years. Saturday, the Nationals won 3-2, despite batting Mark DeRosa and Chad Tracy in the 3 and 4 spots, respectively. Third baseman Ryan Zimmerman was a late scratch with some minor shoulder inflammation. Zimmerman says he will be good to go tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, the Nats will begin a 6-game West Coast swing tomorrow night in San Diego. They’ll follow that up with a trip north to Los Angeles to face the Dodgers.
Game of the Day
A couple of elimination games in the NHL today, but I know my audience. So….
New York Yankees @ Texas Rangers (7:05/ESPN). CC Sabathia takes the mound against Derek Holland and his gorgeous mustache. The Rangers are 13-3 and if you’re a fan of any other team, you’re terrified of the Rangers. As good as Washington, St. Louis, and Los Angeles (NL) have looked, the Rangers have looked that much better. They have the American League’s best rotation and best lineup. Meanwhile, for the Yankees, CC Sabathia is trying to get his season on more solid footing. This will be a good, early series.
Or you could watch hockey…
Bias Bulletin
Every morning, I send an email to my sports-averse coworkers detailing the biggest events in the sports world that day. This is to help them better converse with the sport-obsessed among us. I will publish this email every morning as the Bias Bulletin.
Clark Kent Has A Backache
-Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard was, for a while, regarded as an affable, talented, unmatched physical specimen. Now, only the last two are relevant. Yesterday, his agent announced that Howard will miss the remainder of the NBA season (including the playoffs) as well as the Summer Olympics, leaving the United States team with a large hole at the Center position. Now, Howard is out with a herniated disk in his back. And a herniated disk is certainly nothing to scoff at. But Howard, over the course of the previous year, has done himself no favors by playing a near constant game of “I want to stay (in Orlando)!” “I want to leave Orlando!” “I love my coach.” “I hate my coach and I want him fired!” In short, harsh words, he’s been a drama queen, who distracted from a good basketball team and managed to make it worse by damaging its chemistry. Many are now questioning whether Howard is essentially quitting on his team, just days before the NBA playoffs begin, rather than try to play through the injury as others have done. We’ll, of course, never know the severity of Howard’s injury. The only guarantee in this story is that Orlando’s playoff run will not last very long without Howard. They are currently lined up to play the Indiana Pacers in the first round. The Pacers, of course, feature a rapidly improving 7’1” Roy Hibbert. With no size inside, the Magic are poised to make a quick and quiet exit.
100 Years and All We’ve Got Is This Manager That We Hate
–Today, the Boston Red Sox will celebrate the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park. The stage is set for some incredible drama, some unintentional comedy, and an immense quantity of awkwardness. The Red Sox have invited back a bevy of former players (including, according to his Twitter feed, Jose Canseco). Pedro Martinez will be there. Carl Yastrzemski, Nomar, Jim Rice. Legends in Boston sports. But no appearance will cause more drama and awkwardness than the return of former manager Terry Francona to Fenway Park. By now, everyone knows that someone in the organization dragged Francona’s name through the mud on his way out of town. Now, the team is floundering. And the appearance of the most successful manager, perhaps, in the franchise’s history, will do nothing but continue to stir the pot (as well as the emotions of Red Sox Nation). Oh, yeah, and the Yankees are in town.
Capital Performance
-Missing their best player, yet desperately needing a win, the Washington Capitals defeated the Boston Bruins last night to even their best-of-7 series at two games apiece. Capitals goaltender Braden Holtby, a playoff neophyte, gave the Capitals a veteran performance last night, stopping 44 shots, en route to a 2-1 victory. The Capitals took a 2-1 lead late in the second period on a power play goal by Alexander Semin and were able to hold the Bruins scoreless in the third period. The teams will continue their series with a pivotal fifth game on Saturday in Boston. The winner of that game can wrap up the series on Sunday night in Washington.
Your Daily Washington Nationals Update
After all of those wonderful things I said yesterday, the Nationals were blown out last night, as the Houston Astros managed to salvage one game from the four-game series. Washington starter Edwin Jackson didn’t get the “starting” thing quite right yesterday, as he surrendered 5 runs in the first inning (including 3 triples). Jackson recovered well, just in time for Tom Gorzelanny to come in, pitch two inning of relief, and surrender 6 runs.
The 11-4 loss was only Washington’s fourth of the season. They now enter a 3-game weekend series with the Miami Marlins. Game 1 pits Marlins starter and resident insane person Carlos Zambrano against Ross Detweiler. Stephen Strasburg will start for Washington on Saturday against Anibal Sanchez. And the series will wrap up on Sunday with perhaps the best pitching matchup of the series, as Josh Johnson and Gio Gonzalez will square off.
Also of note, the Nationals will begin a series at Los Angeles next Friday. The tentative pitching matchup in that game is Stephen Strasburg vs. Clayton Kershaw. Appointment viewing. Even a week away.
Games of the Weekend
MLB: New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox (Tonight/7:05)
NHL: Washington Capitals at Boston Bruins (Saturday/3:00)
NBA: Oklahoma City Thunder at Los Angeles Lakers (Sunday/3:30)
Soccer: Barcelona vs. Real Madrid (Saturday/2:30 p.m.)
Enjoy your weekend!
Bias Bulletin
Every morning, I send an email to my sports-averse coworkers detailing the biggest events in the sports world that day. This is to help them better converse with the sport-obsessed among us. I will publish this email every morning as the Bias Bulletin.
Not An April Classic. Rather, a Classic in April
-Yesterday’s Game of the Day answered the call. And then some. If all I wrote here was that the Giants beat the Phillies 1-0 in 11 innings, you would be impressed. But consider that this was a 2 ½ hour, 11 inning game (As a reference point, last night’s 9 inning Yankees/Twins game lasted 3 ½ hours). Also consider the pitching performances. Giants pitcher Matt Cain threw 9 shutout innings, surrendering only two hits, and was only pulled for a pinch hitter. Cain managed to throw just 91 pitches in his 9 innings, including four single-digit pitch innings. Phillies starter Cliff Lee matched him, throwing 10 shutout innings. The game was won by the Giants in the 11th on a base hit by Melky Cabrera, who scored Brandon Belt from 2nd base. The teams will meet again in mid-July. Let’s all cross our fingers for a Cain/Lee rematch.
Big, Fat, Strike Throwing, Bartolo Colon
-I really had no intentions to write, again, mostly about baseball. I get that it’s April and most people are either 1.) Enjoying al fresco dining, 2.) Watching playoff hockey, or 3.) Having an allergy fit. But sometimes, baseball forces itself into the headlines. While the Giants and Phillies were playing one of the best pitched games you’ll ever see, Oakland Athletics pitcher (and living testament to the virtues of a healthy lifestyle) Bartolo Colon was providing his own historic pitching performance. Between the 5th and 8th innings of last night’s game against the Angels, Colon did not throw a single called ball. 38 strikes. 0 balls. There’s no real analysis that one can provide here. It’s also unlikely that the folks watching at Angels Stadium were aware of the feat. But to think, after the fact, about a pitcher being that “on,” is really stunning.
How to Dominate. And Lose.
-Yesterday, in the first leg of the UEFA Champions League semi-finals, Chelsea beat FC Barcelona, the best club team in the world (in any sport), 1-0. Now, it’s important to know that Chelsea was playing at home in the first leg, and will have to play at Barca next week and manage to lose by fewer than 2 goals. That’s not terribly likely. Especially considering how badly Chelsea was dominated by the team they beat yesterday. Do you like stats? Try these:
Total Shots: Barcelona-24/Chelsea-4
Shots on Goal: Barcelona-6/Chelsea-1
Ball Possession (as a percentage): Barcelona-79%/Chelsea-21%
To advance to the UEFA Champions League final, Barcelona will need to defeat Chelsea by at least two goals next Wednesday. Given the numbers above, I’d say that is a likely scenario.
Your Daily Washington Nationals Update
-The Washington Nationals are 10-3. I don’t need to be impartial. Writing that makes me giddy. It’s important to remember that it’s April. My significant other pointed that out to me last night as I yelled “10 and 3” repeatedly after Henry Rodriguez closed out the ninth against the Astros. It’s also important to remember that the Nationals haven’t played anyone worth a darn yet. The Cubs, Mets, Reds, and Astros aren’t going to win the World Series this year. They won’t even make the playoffs this year.
Above all else, though, what is important when it comes to the Nationals’ 10-3 record is that they have won 10 games and lost 3. They have one of the best records in baseball. Their pitching staff has been the best in baseball to this point. Their bullpen, save for a few minor hiccups, has been rock solid. And they’re missing arguably their second best hitter. 10-3 is good. It doesn’t matter what month it is.
The Nationals will try, for the second consecutive series, to accomplish a four-game sweep when they take on the Astros tonight at the Navy Yard. Edwin Jackson will take the hill for Washington and oppose Astros ace Bud Norris. Jackson is coming off of a complete game on Saturday against the Reds. A win tonight will move the Nats to 5 ½ games up on the Philadelphia Phillies, heading into an important (yes, for April) weekend series with the Miami Marlins.
Game of the Day
Boston Bruins @ Washington Capitals (BOS leads 2-1) (7:30/NBC Sports Network or Local TV)
-This series has been chippy. Of course, you could say that about each of the NHL’s playoff series. But this one appears to be on the brink of becoming REALLY chippy. The Capitals will have their backs against the wall tonight, as they’ll have to play without Nicklas Backstrom (their best player. Don’t even try to debate me on Alex Ovechkin.). The Capitals will need a performance from goaltender Braden Holtby similar to that of Game 2, when the Capitals won in Boston in 2 OT. Falling to a 3-1 deficit tonight will leave the undertaker reaching for that final nail in Washington’s coffin.
Bias Bulletin (Mid-Week Baseball Edition)
Every morning, I send an email to my sports-averse coworkers detailing the biggest events in the sports world that day. This is to help them better converse with the sport-obsessed among us. I will publish this email every morning as the Bias Bulletin.
Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number…Even When It’s A Big Number
Last night, Colorado Rockies pitcher Jamie Moyer became the oldest player in MLB history to win a game. Moyer, who is 49 years and 150 days old, passed Brooklyn Dodger pitcher Jack Quinn who was 49 years and 70 days old when he took the record in 1932. Moyer pitched his best game of the young season, throwing 7 innings, surrendering no earned runs, and even striking out one San Diego Padres “hitter.” Moyer’s battery mate last night, Rockies catcher Wilin Rosario, was born in 1989, three years after Moyer’s MLB debut.
Protest This
Last night, Ozzie Guillen returned to the Miami Marlins’ dugout after serving a five game suspension for celebrating Fidel Castro in a Time magazine interview. Those in the media who envisioned widespread protests must have been left a little disappointed, as, by the account of Marlins blogger Joe Capozzi, “As of 20 minutes ago, the protest scene outside #Marlins Park consisted of the sum total of ONE guy holding a “No apology” sign.” On the diamond, where Guillen is paid to manage a baseball team, the Marlins defeated the Chicago Cubs 5-2, thanks to an 8th inning, three-run home run by Hanley Ramirez. Which afforded us the opportunity to see the glorious Marlins Home Run Sculpture, replete with flying fish, the color pink, and geysers.
Jon Lester Just Doesn’t Look Like He’s Physically or Emotionally Into The Game
The Boston Red Sox were scheduled to play a baseball game last night against the Texas Rangers. Writers are still unsure as to whether the Sox showed up to Fenway Park in time for the game. Sox starter Jon Lester most certainly did show up and he hung around long enough to throw 2 innings of baseball, giving up 7 runs and 4 walks. The Red Sox bullpen did nothing to stop the bleeding, as they combined to surrender 11 additional runs, including six for reliever Mark Melancon, who the Red Sox traded a starting pitcher and their starting shortstop to acquire during the offseason. The Red Sox find themselves in last place in the AL East. Following this series with the American League’s best team, the Texas Rangers, the Red Sox welcome an upstart team from the Bronx called the Yankees of New York City. It should be a quiet, peaceful affair if the Red Sox continue to struggle.
Your Daily Washington Nationals Update
If Davey Johnson can find a way to have Gio Gonzalez only start game at home, the Cy Young may be coming to the 202. In his second start of the year at Nationals Park, Gio Gonzalez threw 7 shutout innings against the Houston Astros. Gonzalez allowed just 2 hits, while striking out 8.
With just a 1-0 lead entering the 9th inning, the situation got tenuous, when Nationals closer (by default) Brad Lidge, allowed the first two Astros to reach base. Lidge was able to get the next three outs without surrendering a run, to preserve the victory for Gonzalez, his first in a Nationals uniform.
Washington will play the third game of a four game series with Houston tonight at the Navy Yard (weather permitting). They will send Jordan Zimmermann to the hill to oppose something named Lucas Harrell.
Game of the Day
(Yesterday, I made an egregious error when I listed the Pittsburgh Penguins @ Philadelphia Flyers game as the “Game of the Day.” The problem was that the teams were not scheduled to play yesterday. They play tonight. I apologize for error. That’s still a good game, but because this is the baseball edition….)
Philadelphia Phillies @ San Francisco Giants (10:15 p.m./MLB.TV or MLB Extra Innings)
Cliff Lee will opposed Matt Cain in what may be the best potential pitching matchup since Monday’s Phillies/Giants game. There’s every reason to believe this should be a gem. Cain is coming off of a near perfect game and Lee is never far from pitching perfection. There may not be a better pitching matchup. At least this week.
Bias Bulletin
Every morning, I send an email to my sports-averse coworkers detailing the biggest events in the sports world that day. This is to help them better converse with the sport-obsessed among us. I will publish this email every morning as the Bias Bulletin.
Football!
The semifinals of the UEFA Champions League (that’s soccer) get under way today in Germany, as Bayern Munich hosts a favored Real Madrid club in the first leg of the two match series. The winner (on aggregate scoring) will face the winner of the other semifinal, which pits Chelsea and FC Barcelona. That series begins tomorrow at Stamford Bridge, the home of Chelsea. Of course, it does not take a scientist to see that there is a potential Real Madrid v. Barcelona final. So get ready, world, to see Chelsea and Bayern Munich face off for the Champions League crown!!!
I’m Sorry, Because Everyone Hates Me
Following yesterday’s major sports crisis of the day in Boston, Red Sox Manager Bobby Valentine backpedaled from his perceived criticism of Third Baseman Kevin Youkilis and offered his apology to the offended player. That, of course, was not enough to satisfy the “Fenway “Faithful”” who took to the airwaves yesterday to criticize Valentine for leaving starting pitcher Daniel Bard on the mound in a tight game with the Tampa Bay Rays (one that the Red Sox lost 1-0). No word on whether Valentine will apologize to Bard today as well.
Who Thought a 66 Game Season Could Last So Long?
The NBA’s regular season is still not over. Somehow. It will end next week. Last night, the Western Conference’s best team, the Oklahoma City Thunder, fell to the Los Angeles Clippers. The loss dropped the Thunder into the second seed in the West, with the San Antonio Spurs moving up to the catbird seat. Ultimately, none of this matters. Most teams are playing at about 85% capacity right now if they’ve already clinched a solid playoff spot. The playoffs begin soon. Hang in there, NBA fans.
Your Daily Washington Nationals Update
The Nationals improved to an 8-3 record last night following a 6-3 win over the Houston Astros. Stephen Strasburg pitched 6 innings, surrendering 2 runs, and striking out 5. The star of the game, though, was not the pitching phenom. No, reserve infielder Steve Lombardozzi, filling in at 2B for Danny Espinosa, who had the night off, had the first four-hit game of his Major League career.
The Nationals will play Game 2 of a four game series with the Astros tonight. They will send Gio Gonzalez to the mound to oppose Astros pitcher Wandy Rodriguez.
Game of the Day
Pittsburgh Penguins @ Philadelphia Flyers (7:30/NBC Sports Network, formerly Versus, formerly OLN)
The Penguins will play the first of what they hope will be four elimination games, as they find themselves down 3-0 to the Flyers in this Best-of-7 series. See yesterday’s bulletin for a rundown of some of the feats from Game 3 of the series. It might intrigue you enough that you’ll watch tonight’s game. Especially if you like fist-fights.
Bias Bulletin
Every morning, I send an email to my sports-averse coworkers detailing the biggest events in the sports world that day. This is to help them better converse with the sport-obsessed among us. I will publish this email every morning as the Bias Bulletin.
SOS! Emergency! Panic on the streets of London, er, Boston.!
It’s Marathon Monday in Beantown. Usually, that’s a joyous day. It’s still early on in the season and no matter how the Sox are doing, there’s something about that day that always feels special. Maybe it’s the 11:00 am baseball game. Maybe it’s the streets being filled with the world’s greatest long-distance runners. Whatever it is, Marathon Monday is almost always a joyous time in the Bay State. Except for today.
Over the weekend, Red Sox Manager Bobby Valentine called out 3B Kevin Youkilis, arguably the fan base’s favorite player, as being not “physically or emotionally into the game.” Today, Kevin Youkilis might be able to catch the Marathon, as he’s not in Valentine’s lineup. And now, the team’s 2B Dustin Pedroia has said (of his Manager), ““I don’t know what Bobby’s trying to do. But that’s not how we go about our stuff here.” And so an already unpopular manager, in a town not exactly brimming over with patience, only 9 games into his tenure, finds himself in no-man’s land. The Red Sox may have a three game winning streak coming into today’s game against Tampa Bay, but it looks like the length of the Valentine administration may resemble more of a sprint than a marathon in Boston.
Start Snitching
Former Saints LB Scott Fujita is one of the senior members of the NFL’s Players Association (the union representing the NFL’s players). Fujita now plays for the Cleveland Browns. It turns out that Scott Fujita provided the NFLPA with an exclusive look at the videos and audio at the center of the Saints’ “Bountygate” program before they went public. Some had already drawn the conclusion that Fujita (because of his position on the NFLPA) was the so-called snitch. With the revelation that Fujita had access to the videos before the story went public, that speculation will only increase.
I Went to a Hockey Game and a Boxing Match Broke Out
I didn’t actually go to a hockey game yesterday. And neither did about 20,000 people in Philadelphia yesterday. In Game 3 of the NHL’s Eastern Conference Quarterfinals match between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Philadelphia Flyers, the team from Eastern PA took a commanding 3-0 lead in the Best-of-7 series. But yesterday’s game will long be remembered for a list of numbers:
12 total goals (Philly won 8-4)
38 penalties
158 combined penalty minutes (for reference sake, there are 60 minutes in a regulation hockey game)
3 ejections in the FIRST PERIOD
1 fight involving Sidney Crosby who has missed most of the past 2 seasons with concussion-related medical issues
Your Daily Washington Nationals Update
A new feature to this email! The Nationals wrapped up a four game series with the Cincinnati Reds yesterday, falling in extra innings to the Reds 8-5. The game was the third of the four game series to go to extra frames. Former National League MVP Joey Votto gave the Reds a 7-5 lead in the top of the 11th inning when he lined a double to left field, scoring Drew Stubbs and Zack Cozart. Scott Rolen added an RBI single, scoring Votto. The Nats were unable to score in the bottom of the 11th.
That said, Washington is still 7-3, atop the NL East. They begin a four game series with the Houston Astros tonight down at the Navy Yard. Stephen Strasburg will face Kyle Weiland, who may or may not be the former lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots.
Game of the Day
Philadelphia Phillies @ San Francisco Giants (10:15 p.m./MLB Extra Innings or MLB.TV). Roy Halladay opposes Tim Lincecum. Timmy hasn’t been Timmy so far (0-1, 12.91 ERA, 2.22 WHIP). Roy has been Roy (2-0, 0.60 ERA, 0.53 WHIP). This will be a huge game for Lincecum, who many believe is hiding an arm injury. Another rough outing and the Giants season could be in serious trouble early on.
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Bias Bulletin
Every morning, I send an email to my sports-averse coworkers detailing the biggest events in the sports world that day. This is to help them better converse with the sport-obsessed among us. I will publish this email every morning as the Bias Bulletin.
1.) LeBron James just can’t get it right. Yes, LeBron finished last night’s Heat/Bulls game with 30 points, 6 rebounds, and 5 assists. But what people will remember is his missed free throw at the end of regulation that could have sealed the game for Miami. Bulls reserve CJ Watson would then hit a three to send the game to overtime. And in the OT period, the Bulls dominated the Heat, winning by 10. The Bulls continued their trend of doing things without Derrick Rose. The reigning MVP played, sort of. He was seen wearing a uniform and moving about the basketball court. But he mustered only a 2/3/8 statistical line (points/rebounds/assists) and finished the game with an amusing (-27) +/-. The key to the game? The Bulls saw 3 reserves score in double figures. If you combined all of Miami’s players, save for James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh, you’d only get 15 points. And the four Heat reserves combined for a (-67) differential. Miami is not going to win the NBA championship with contributions like last night’s from players like Shane Battier and Mike Miller. Meanwhile, Chicago might be able to win without Rose. (Okay, maybe that’s a stretch)
2.) I’ve wavered over whether I should talk about hockey. I understand that many people, myself not included, do not enjoy games of iced merriment. Still, last night’s NHL playoff action has to stir at least a bit of emotion from even the most hockey-opposed, right? Please bear with me. 3 of the 4 NHL games last night went to overtime. The game of the night was a double OT thriller in St. Louis, where the San Jose Sharks managed to do something well in the playoffs for once, beating the Blues 3-2 on a goal by Martin Havlat (his second of the game). Also the Bruins beat the Washington Capitals 1-0 in OT on a goal by Chris Kelly. Forensic scientists are furiously studying the game film looking for any evidence that Alexander Ovechkin actually played. They’ve yet to turn up any sign of Ovechkin and are asking citizens for help. If you have a tip, please call 1-800-NOTGR8T
3.) Yesterday, the Saints announced that assistant coach Joe Vitt would replace suspended head coach Sean Payton during the 2012 season. Vitt previously filled in for Payton when he suffered a leg injury during the 2011 season. Next, the Saints will need to announce Vitt’s replacement, as he is suspended for six games during the 2012 season. Eventually, the Saints will have to hire Bill Parcells to coach one game to cover for a suspended replacement, of a suspended replacement, of a suspended replacement, of the suspended Payton. This move reminds me of when I make a move in checkers much too quickly, only to realize as soon as I let go of my piece, that I’m about to get triple-jumped.
Saints GM Mickey Loomis: Today’s we’re proud to announce that Joe Vitt will serve as interim coach of the Saints during the 2012 season. Joe is _____________________ (positive adjectives).
Saints Special Assistant to the GM (whispering, to Loomis): Um, sir, Vitt is suspended for the first six games of the season.
Loomis: (sigh)…We’ll see you all again in a week.
Game of the Weekend: There aren’t a lot of great NBA games this weekend. Maybe the Heat and Knicks. You could have your pick of NHL playoff games too. But, hey, why not spend some time with someone you care about? Go for a picnic lunch. Perhaps take a drive to the mountains. Or stay in, turn the lights out, and drink, alone, until you can’t stand up. Whatever you chose to do with your weekend, make it a good one. We’ll reconvene on Monday.