Groups (In Predicted Order of Finish)

Group A
Uruguay
France
Mexico
South Africa

Group B
Argentina
Nigeria
Greece
South Korea

Group C
England
Slovenia
USA
Algeria

Group D
Germany
Ghana
Australia
Serbia

Group E
Netherlands
Cameroon
Japan
Denmark

Group F
Paraguay
Italy
Slovakia
New Zealand

Group G
Brazil
Portugal
Cote d’ Ivoire
North Korea

Group H
Spain
Chile
Honduras
Switzerland

Knockout Stage
Round 1 (Winners in Parenthesis)

England vs Ghana (England)
Uruguay vs. Nigeria (Nigeria)

Brazil vs. Chile (Brazil)
Netherlands vs. Italy (Netherlands)

Argentina vs. France (Argentina)
Germany vs. Slovenia (Germany)

Spain vs. Portugal (Portugal)
Paraguay vs. Cameroon (Cameroon)

Round 2

England vs. Nigeria (Nigeria)
Brazil vs. Netherlands (Netherlands)

Argentina vs. Germany (Argentina)
Portugal vs. Cameroon (Portugal)

Semi-Finals

Nigeria vs. Netherlands (Netherlands)
Argentina vs. Portugal (Argentina)

3rd Place Game

Nigeria vs. Portugal (Portugal)

Finals

Netherlands vs. Argentina (Argentina)

This would be a dream final in terms of exciting soccer. I’m not sure that it would sell soccer to Americans because I’m not sure that as many would watch here as did in 2006 when France and Italy played each other. I also don’t really think soccer will ever catch on as a prime sport in America and that’s fine.

I have Argentina winning it all because I don’t want to count out Diego Maradona like everyone else. The man has likely died 39 times, but he’s a fighter. He (well, Messi and Carlos Tevez) will prove the doubters wrong. Argentina struggled a bit during qualifying. I’m not scared. They are going to outscore everyone they play. Including the Dutch, who will, as they always do, capture the hearts of the American fans once the USA is eliminated in group play. And on that subject…

I’m not trying to be contrary. I would actually really like for the US to win their group. But with the expectations set so high because of such an easy draw, and because of the laid back nature of this team and Bob Bradley, I don’t see the fire. I have the Slovenians advancing because of their qualifying run and the motivation for a team that hasn’t been there before. I hope I’m wrong.

My last explanation involves the Nigerians, who I know nothing about except that they’re the most fundamentally sound of the African teams and they get an easy draw should my predictions hold true (facing Uruguay and England, who is highly overrated and could struggle with the Ghanians attack in the first round of the knockout round). Also, it would be nice for an African team to make the semis. And yes, I’m concerned with things being “nice.”

This should be a gamechanging World Cup. As I said, soccer will never be the sport du jour here. But I really see this World Cup brining soccer to a level where we could have a major network (NBC would be smart) airing weekly UEFA matchups, ESPN featuring more soccer talk in addition to their increased level of coverage of MLS, EPL, Primera, etc, and who knows, maybe even an improved MLS product. The excitement for this World Cup is like nothing I’ve seen in my life, though that is likely attributed to the fact that I live in a great city filled with cultural diversity and not Taunton, Massachusetts (PORTUGAL!). There should be some epic games. And with that, I leave you with my 5 can’t miss (England v. USA not included) first round matchups (all times reflect the Eastern Time Zone)

Argentina vs. Nigeria- June 12 10:00 AM
Netherlands vs. Cameroon- June 24 2:30 PM
Uruguay vs. France- June 11 2:30 PM
Germany vs. Ghana- June 23 2:30 PM
USA vs. Slovenia- June 18 10:00 AM

(Also, in Group G)
Brazil vs. Ivory Coast- June 20 2:30 PM
Portugal vs. Ivory Coast- June 15 10:00 AM
Brazil vs. Portugal- June 25 10:00 AM

Enjoy. Viva Futbol!

It’s a cliche to say, “Where do I start?” when writing a reflective piece. Especially when you’re reflecting on something that happened 3 hours earlier. To understand the scope of Stephen Strasburg’s debut tonight, you have to understand the apathy people in Washington have for the Nationals. Or at least “had,” before tonight.

Today has me thinking back to the 1994 NBA playoffs. I know, who isn’t right? See, in 1994, the 8th seeded Denver Nuggets, a team which started such future Hall of Famers as Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf and Bryant Stith, did the “impossible” and won a 5 game series against a number 1 seed, the (then) Seattle SuperSonics. As a ten year old, I had always thought that this was impossible. The SuperSonics had Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp. They had the word “super” in their name. When I was 10, I thought this was the biggest upset in the history of humankind.

What I realize now that I didn’t then is 1.) An 8 seed can match up well against a 1 seed (see Golden State toppling the Dallas Mavericks in 2007) and 2.) Sometimes, the team with the number 1 seed isn’t necessarily the best team. And that brings us back to today or more accurately, Wednesday night.

Wednesday, the Washington Capitals shocked 10 year old Jason, but just frustrated 25 year old Jason. After finishing the NHL’s regular season with the league’s best record, the Capitals entered the NHL playoffs with a series against a mediocre-at-best Montreal Canadiens team that they matched up fairly well against. After four games, the Caps were up 3-1. Then, they decided to play boring, uninspired, flat hockey for three games. You can’t do that in the NHL playoffs. There’s plenty of recent evidence to support this (See: San Jose Sharks). The Capitals just became the most recent piece of evidence, after losing Game 7 to the Canadiens 2-1.

Three years ago, the Capitals fired their coach “Guy No One Remembers” amid a terrible start to the season and promoted the coach of one of their minor league affiliates (the Hershey Bears) to the big time. The team caught fire after the promotion of Bruce Bourdreau and wound up winning their division. Of course, they were a little too young and lost to a better Philadelphia Flyers club in 7 games, losing Game 7 at home.

Last year, the Capitals finished with the second best record in the Eastern Conference and entered the playoffs matched up against an underachieving New York Rangers team that they should have defeated in 5 games. Instead, they were outplayed by the Rangers and barely won the series, again in 7 games. That set them up for a Conference Semi-Final matchup with their rivals, the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Caps squandered an early two game series lead and found themselves in another Game 7, only this time, they didn’t show up for the game (in fact, the 2008-09 Washington Capitals may still be lost on their way into the Verizon Center to play Game 7 against the Penguins) and got housed 6-2.

This season was going to be different. The Capitals absolutely obliterated the competition in the regular season, winning the President’s Trophy (best record) and finding themselves in an easy first round matchup with the Montreal Canadiens, who they would go on to lose to. In seven games. Again. Seven games. Here’s the problem:

People in this town lack the true, stupid passion that people in New York, Boston, and Philadelphia have for their teams. Something happens when you get below the Mason-Dixon line when it comes to sports. The further south you travel, the less and and less people care about their teams, reaching the utmost depths in Miami, where the locals couldn’t be bothered to support any of their 4 professional sports teams. Last night, as the Capitals left the ice after shaking hands with the Canadiens, the fans who stayed, stood on their feet and applauded. Could you imagine if the Philadelphia Flyers finished the regular season with the best record, and then choked away a first round matchup against a team they matched up favorably with? There would be no ovation. NO ONE WOULD CLAP! The same holds true for Boston and New York. When success is expected, you do not encourage failure. And this was monumental, epic failure. On a scale much larger than the Seattle SuperSonics in 1994. This was a collapse.

My opinion is that heads need to roll in Washington in the coming weeks. Bruce Boudreau, the Capitals coach who may have saved their season in 2007-08, needs to be fired in 2010. The NHL is a results orientated league. And under Boudreau, the results have not been good by any true measure of success. The Capitals have a roster littered with talent and an owner who is more than willing to spend money even in a league full of owners who, when the check comes at dinner, head to the lavatory. Let it be known that Bruce Boudreau has accomplished nothing of note in his time in Washington. The folks who have lived here their entire lives and know the history of the Washington Capitals will tell me that he might be the most successful coach in the team’s history. And you know what, he may very well be. But that does not, should not, and hopefully will not excuse the fact that his teams have fallen short, far too early, each of the last three years.

Of course, the players are responsible too. The Capitals have an interesting salary issue coming up. They are currently paying Mike Green, the most overrated “defenseman” in the NHL, $5.25 million until the end of the 2012 season. Their captain, Alex Ovechkin, makes $9.5 million until the end of his life, essentially. Alexander Semin will make $6 million next season and then become a restricted free agent. Combining the numbers of Ovechkin, Green, and Semin, you have almost $21 million, or more than 1/3 of the NHL salary cap. The Caps were $3 million over the cap this year. Owner Ted Leonsis cannot be forced to pay the luxury tax on a team that gets eliminated in the first round of the playoffs.

The salary situation gets interesting with Nicklas Backstrom. Backstrom, who is without a doubt in my mind the most vital member of this team (yes, more than Ovechkin), is an RFA as of the end of the season. Backstrom made only $2.4 million this season and frankly, should be making close to Ovechkin money. But the Capitals cannot afford to give him Ovechkin money, or Semin money, or Green money, in my opinion (unless they want to field a one-line short handed team). To me, the odd man out has to be Semin first. He adds nothing to the Capitals that they don’t already have. Semin scored 40 goals this season. The Capitals led the league in goals scored, with 45 more than the second place team, the Vancouver Canucks. Semin is also a defensive liability and as tough a hockey player as OJ Simpson is an “understanding human being.” And he’s an RFA after next season. I would love to see him traded for a high (1st or 2nd round) draft pick or a blue-collar, hard nosed defenseman who is more focused on stopping goals than scoring them.

That’s where Mike Green comes in. Green was a +39 during the regular season, which is a great number for any defenseman. However, you have to take into account that he plays on the highest scoring team in the league. With two of the top 4 scorers (in terms of points) in the league. And Green scored 19 goals this season. That +39 doesn’t look as pretty now. And it doesn’t look as pretty when you watch him regularly. Last night, Green cost his team a goal on Montreal’s first when he took an unnecessary cross-checking penalty. On Montreal’s second goal, Green found himself overplaying one man on a 2-on-1. He fell out of the play and Montreal went ahead 2-0. This is the kind of thing that happens regularly in Washington. But the fans love Mike Green. Because he scores goals. Sure, he’s not tough, doesn’t fight, turns away from contact, constantly carries the puck in the offensive zone, gets caught out of position defensively, and exhibits zero on-ice leadership, and presumably, none in the locker room, because frankly, when was the last time you heard the words “Mike Green” and “leader” in the same sentence, but he scores goals and has a faux-hawk, so let’s give him the Jack Norris trophy? I would love to see Green moved this offseason as well.

Most will say that I’m being too reactionary. I’d prefer to call it proactivity, if that were an actual English word. Complacency has never made anyone better. The Washington Capitals have shown in the past 3 seasons, an ability to improve their regular seasons, and the disability of constant playoff failure. Some drunk moron on the train the other night, leaving a Nationals game, started yelling about how the “Caps own this league (the NHL).” I laughed at him and said, (paraphrase), “You can take your REGULAR season sweep of the Penguins, they’ll take their Stanley Cup.” I want the Capitals to succeed. Wednesday’s loss angered me incredibly. I love the team, but I don’t love this team, as a group of players. They might give trophies for great regular seasons and they might hang banners for division titles (even if that division is the weakest in professional sports), but those things don’t deserve a parade down Pennsylvania Avenue and up Seventh Street. This town needs a parade. The Capitals are the closest to bringing one here, but they’re still much too far away.

A lot has changed since my previous mock draft. Perhaps the most important thing is that time has progressed, as it tends to do. Nine weeks ago, I created a mock draft that will look little like the one you’re about to read, skim, or skip. My previous intention was to pick the best fit for each team. My intention with this mock draft is to be right about slotting. There will be trades on draft day. I’m not going to bother with that here. Without further ado, 2010 Mock Draft Version 2.0: (with very little analysis, because really if you don’t know about team needs and players in the first round of this years draft yourself, you likely never will and probably didn’t care much to begin with)

1. St. Louis Rams
Pick: Sam Bradford (QB/Oklahoma). I’ve made my feelings known previously that I prefer Clausen. I can see St. Louis trading out of this spot and drafting Clausen.

2. Detroit Lions
Pick: Ndamukong Suh (DT/Nebraska). This is a toss-up between Suh and McCoy. I like Suh better because watching the two in college, I was highly impressed with Suh’s domination of play and never found McCoy to be a game changer at that level.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Pick: Gerald McCoy (DT/Oklahoma)

4. Washington Redskins
Pick: Trent Williams (OT/Oklahoma). Okung is the better tackle. Williams is thought of as the better “fit.”

5. Kansas City Chiefs
Pick: Russell Okung (OT/Oklahoma State). Drafting Okung allows the Chiefs to move Brandon Albert to the right side of the line, where he is better suited and gives them an anchor for the next 12 seasons on the left side. Okung strikes me as a “sure thing,” in the mold of D’Brickashaw Ferguson.

6. Seattle Seahawks
Pick: Eric Berry (S/Tennessee). The surest pick in this draft is Berry. Instant success. A steal at 6.

7. Cleveland Browns
Pick: Jimmy Clausen (QB/Notre Dame). Mike Holmgren is an offensive minded coach. If Berry is gone, he has to go offensive in my mind. Clausen makes sense here, except for the memories of Brady Quinn. But in my mind, Clausen is the real deal and a different kind of QB than Quinn, mentally. I can see Clausen going at 4, 5 (yes, even with Matt Cassel in KC), 6, 7, 9, 13, or 14. I can’t see that many teams passing on a franchise quarterback. Not after what Aaron Rodgers has done in Green Bay after falling in his draft.

8. Oakland Raiders
Pick: Bruce Campbell (OT/Maryland). In every mock I see, it’s either Campbell or Jason Pierre-Paul. I prefer Campbell. If he doesn’t go here, he likely won’t go again in this mock. Oh, Oakland…

9. Buffalo Bills
Pick: Bryan Bulaga (OT/Iowa). I really can’t see Clausen falling any further than Buffalo. They’re a team with a giant, gaping hole at quarterback that has been there since Jim Kelly left. Bulaga, much like Jimmy Clausen, comes with a “warning” label because of the recent failure of fellow Iowa OT Robert Gallery. And I don’t know if Bulaga is athletic enough, frankly to play left tackle in the NFL.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars
Pick: CJ Spiller (RB/Clemson). It makes NO SENSE to draft Spiller this high, but I’ve seen it in enough highly regarded places that I’ve convinced myself that it’ll happen. This team is going nowhere fast if they draft Spiller. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good back and will be a solid pro, but there are many more pressing needs in Jacksonville on the defensive side of the ball.

11. Denver Broncos
Pick:.Derrick Morgan (DE/Georgia Tech). Not Dez Bryant. Morgan would give Denver great depth at End.

12. Miami Dolphins
Pick: Dan Williams (DT/Tennessee). Along with Tennessee teammate Berry, Williams is a steal here and well suited for Miami.

13. San Francisco 49ers
Pick: Joe Haden (CB/Florida). Talk about filling a need. Haden gives the 49ers explosion in the return game (though they did just trade for Ted Ginn Jr. last week) and more importantly, the best possible counterpart for fellow CB Nate Clements.

14. Seattle Seahawks
Pick: Ryan Matthews (RB/Fresno State). A reach, but this is a team that needs a game changing running back. Not that I think Matthews is that.

15. New York Giants
Pick: Rolando McClain (ILB/Alabama). Steal if this happens. If he’s there, it happens. Unless Eric Berry falls this far….

16. Tennessee Titans
Pick: Jason Pierre-Paul (DE/South Florida). Athletic freak. Inflated numbers at USF playing on the D-Line with the constantly doubleteamed, 2 time All-American George Selvie. I think this smells of a bust.

17. San Francisco 49ers
Pick: Anthony Davis (OT/Rutgers). Complement to Joe Staley.

18. Pittsburgh Steelers
Pick: Not a rapist….Kyle Wilson (CB/Boise State)

19. Atlanta Falcons
Pick: Jared Odrick (DT/Penn State). Name me the last Penn State player to be a pro-bowl caliber defensive player. LaVarr Arrington? He made the Pro Bowl 7 years ago. Anyone else? Exactly.

20. Houston Texans
Pick: Earl Thomas (S/Texas). Thin in the defensive backfield. Thomas is raw, but full of potential.

21. Cincinnati Bengals
Pick: Jermaine Gresham (TE/Oklahoma). Is there a single pick that would make more sense?

22. New England Patriots
Pick: Tim Tebow (QB/Florida). If he goes in round 1, he goes here. And I, frankly, would rather be right about this than pick Brandon Graham like everyone else.

23. Green Bay Packers
Pick: Brandon Graham (OLB/Michigan)

24. Philadelphia Eagles
Pick: Sergio Kindle (OLB/Texas)

25. Baltimore Ravens
Pick: Jerry Hughes (OLB/TCU). All of these OLB selections are fine for each team. Let the record show that Hughes is my favorite of the bunch. Then Kindle. Then Graham. But I think Graham is a great fit with Green Bay’s young, talented defense.

26. Arizona Cardinals
Pick: Dez Bryant (WR/Oklahoma State). A natural replacement for Anquan Boldin? Well, he does have character issues. So the “constant headache” component is there.

27. Dallas Cowboys
Pick: Mike Iupati (OG/Idaho). Good run blocker. Needs to work on his pass blocking.

28. San Diego Chargers
Pick: Taylor Mays (S/USC). Adds swagger and a fear factor to a defense that has lost a lot of swagger and fear factor.

29. New York Jets
Pick: Devin McCourty (CB/Rutgers). Depth, depth, depth, and more depth.

30. Minnesota Vikings
Pick: Maurkice Pouncey (C/Florida). Aging offensive line gets some youth.

31. Indianapolis Colts
Pick: Rodger Saffold (OT/Indiana). I have no idea who this person is, but I’ve seen him as a late round option and he strikes me as a “Colts guy.”

32. New Orleans Saints
Pick: Sean Witherspoon (ILB/Missouri). If Witherspoon falls to 32, New Orleans should be very happy. Their defense is not quite “repeat worthy.” Yet.

This overall scenario makes Day 2 slightly less intriguing. St. Louis is hoping that Tebow is on the board once New Orleans selects at 32 because then they get to spend all day Friday taking trade offers. However, what if the Patriots don’t take Tebow? Do you think someone else (Jacksonville?) already has a deal cut with New Orleans to send next year’s first round pick and a second or third this year for the 32nd? Witherspoon is a great option for New Orleans, but I like having Jacksonville’s first next year and an extra second this year better. Needless to say, this is going to be an exciting first day. I have ebbed and flowed as to whether I like having the first round in primetime or not until very recently. I’m very excited by this.

For instant reactions to the first round, make sure to follow @midatlanticbias on twitter. I’ll be having a draft party with James (and Amanda?) and I’m sure we’ll have lots of opinions on what goes down on Thursday. See you then!

Rob Dibble is the worst color commentator in all of baseball. I would venture to guess that he’s the worst color commentator in any sport, on any level, in any media format.

For those of you who don’t know, Rob Dibble is the CC (from here on out “CC” equals “Color Commentator”) for the Washington Nationals, who you likely know as the worst team in baseball. Typically, combining the experience of watching a Nats game and listening to Dibble analyze a Nats game is similar to torture. Errors on the field. Errors in the booth. And yet, I torture myself pretty regularly.

On any given weeknight, you’ll find me in my man cave (living room) screaming at my TV, not because of a play the Nats made, but because of something Dibble said that was completely foolish, wrong, hyperbolic, homeristic, etc. And it doesn’t help that he’s joined by a pretty terrible play-by-play man in Bob Carpenter.

That brings us to this post, because the game is starting. Tonight, I will chronicle everything that Dibble says during tonight’s game, that I find objectionable on any level. Enjoy. I sure won’t.
————————————————————————————————-

We’re live from Philadelphia for tonight’s game between the Nationals and the Phillies. Tonight’s pitching matchup would be marquee if the marquee was on the side of a strip club somewhere in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Kyle Kenrick (PHI) vs. Craig Stammen (WAS). This could be a long night. Dibble and Carpenter just set us up by telling us that Pudge Rodriguez is hitting the ball well for the Nats, as is Josh Willingham, but not Ryan Zimmerman, who is out of tonight’s lineup with a nagging hamstring injury. Not a bad start by either. I’m concerned that this could be a clean broadcast. Let’s hope not. Here goes absolutely nothing, folks: (this will not be a running diary, rather an accumulation of Dibble-isms, written in real time and not edited. All quotes will (probably sadly) be actual quotes.)

Top 1st
– On Kyle Kendrick: “He’s like Joe Blanton. But not as good as him. We’re gonna get some hits on him.”
– “Got’em”–Dibble notifying us that Nyjer Morgan was hit by a pitch that clearly hit him in the leg. Dibble has a habit of calling a game like a fan in the stands would comment to his friends.
– “With your 3, 4, 5 guys coming up, you’d like to have at least one of those guys on base.” –Dibble commenting after Willie Harris hits into a 4-6-3 double play. Oh, really? You want runners on base with your best hitters up.
-“We got a great chance here: Rollins is out (of the lineup), Werth is out.”–Dibble forgetting that the Nats are without Ryan Zimmerman tonight.
-Dibble just said JA Happ’s name with disgusted contempt for some reason.
-Dibble just called Joe Blanton a “meat and potatoes guy.” More like a “doughnuts and more doughnuts, please guy.”
-“C’mon Willy!”–Dibble yelling at Josh Willingham as he rounds third on a bases clearing, 3-run double for Adam Kennedy, which Dibble calls, “huge.”
-“This is when we’ve got to pour it on.”–Dibble is now a coach and not a CC. He analyzes nothing and just gives advice. Pudge grounds out to end this very long inning. I might not be able to do this all night.

Bottom 1st
-“Shane Victorino was bouncing around like (pauses, looking for end of simile) a kid on Christmas Day.”–In reference to Victorino not having a set spot in the batting order so far this season.
-Dibble just spent Shane Vicorino’s entire seven pitch at-bat talking about Ryan Howard and the changes to his hitting approach this season.
-“This guy’s something idn’t he?”–Dibble on Placido Polanco. That’s all he said when Polanco stepped to the plate. What the hell does that even mean?
-He just told us that you’ve got to bring your A-game against the Phillies. Hard-hitting analysis.
-Dibble just stated that “even a home run here, I’m only down a run. No big deal.” A home run here would be a no-out grand slam in the bottom of the first by Ryan Howard. Ask Joe Biden what kind of a deal that would be.
-He just compared pitching to hitting the green on your second shot in golf. (I have no idea.)
(Howard hits a two-run single)
-Dibble is concerned that Howard might steal second here, in the first inning, with no outs. He even points out that he was 7/8 last year stealing bases.
(Greg Dobbs hits an RBI-double. This is getting ugly. 3-3 game.)
-“This game is a long way from over. It’s a 1-0 game right now…” No, it’s not, Rob. It’s 4-3. 1 out. In the bottom of the first.
-Dibble just said that a pitcher should be licking his chops looking at the Phillies lineup. *shrug*
-“You’re in a street fight right now and you’ve just got to get to the bell here.” I don’t know how many street fights Dibble’s been in, but I don’t think there are bells.
(This inning mercifully ends. I think this post might do that soon too.)

Top 2nd
-“Atta boy.” Dibble talking over Bob Carpenter as Alberto Gonzalez leads off the inning with a double.
-He just used the pronoun “we.” I hate when he does that.
-He’s now advising Craig Stammen on how to bunt.
-He’s now advising Nyjer Morgan on how to hit.
-He just made some weird noises as Morgan lines the ball to left for a base hit, setting up 1st and 3rd with 1 out.
-“C’mon Willie.” Dibble cheering on Willie Harris.
-He just said “our.”
-He just said “our” again.
-He just sighed, “Man,” for no reason at all. None.
-Willie Harris’s nickname is “hot rod?”
-“C’mon Willie.” Again, cheering on Willie Harris. This is an epic half inning for Dibble. Vintage.
-He just said that Kendrick shouldn’t just be throwing his sinker down and away. He should be “moving it all around.” Yea, hang a sinker up in there.
(Bases loaded, 1 out. This game is horrible)
-“C’mon Nyjer” and “My Man!”–Dibble excited at Cristian Guzman’s two-run single. 5-4 Nats now.
(Side note: Bob Carpenter just called “infield fly rule” on a fly ball to the outfield)
-(laughing) “We’re not even through 1 1/2 innings and this game is an hour old.”–Truer words were never spoken.
-“(laughing. lots of laughing)”–Fan interference on a ground ball down the line is hilarious to Rob Dibble.
(Kyle Kendrick gets booed out of the park after 1 2/3 innings of garbage.)
(Dibble says not a word as Nelson Figueroa gets Adam Kennedy to ground out to end the top of the inning.)

And that’ll be all folks. 1 hour for an inning and a half. I’m going to quit while I’m behind. Please ignore the errors above (by me) and enjoy the errors by Dibble.

I had a number of different title options here. “Perfecting the Imperfect” was my other favorite. But I digress…

I’ve been trying my best and doing a fairly good job of being a fan of the Washington Nationals. I am doing this because, well, why not? They’re my local team. I’m certainly not jumping on any bandwagon (and if so, it’s a pretty lousy bandwagon). And frankly, they need the support. There are a lot of people who live here in the DC area who are Nationals fans in theory, but not in practice. They like the idea of having a Major League team because it gives them something to do and someplace to go to hang out and drink beer outside, but they don’t quite love the whole, “bad baseball” thing. I’m different. I watch the games on TV. I follow the team daily. I stress out about roster moves. You could say that I’m a fan.

Up until recently, I would not call myself a Nats fan. It’s like saying you’re a fan of not sleeping or a fan of traffic. I have a lot of issues with the Nationals, but issues aside, I want nothing more (in terms of baseball) than for them to succeed. Not because this city “needs it” (it doesn’t deserve it, frankly). Not because they’re due (Paging the Pittsburgh Pirates…Paging the Pittsburgh Pirates). No, I want this team to succeed because, well, I’m actually not sure. The players deserve it. Ryan Zimmerman especially. And frankly, the dedicated fan base (and there is one…every team has dedicated fans) deserves to see a winning product. I have a lot of respect for the people who go to Nationals Park and root for the worst team in baseball every night. Baseball isn’t like the other sports. You really get no respite from the failure.

If you travel up Route 295 from Nationals Park for about 45 minutes, you end up staring at Oriole Park at Camden Yards, the home of the Baltimore Orioles. It wasn’t until roughly 20 hours ago that I realized that the Orioles are kind of my home team too. All of their games are broadcast on local television here. In fact, they own the network that airs Nationals games.

The similarities end there between the two teams though. The Nats are the new team who came in and stole some fans from the Orioles fan base. There were lots of people who live between Washington and Baltimore who are closer to the DC end and weren’t terribly loyal to Baltimore because they had grown disillusioned with the ownership. And so the Orioles lost some fans when the Expos moved here in 2005. Orioles owner Peter Angelos tried hard to keep the Expos out of DC for many years, ultimately to no avail. There’s not a lot of love lost between the two organizations, but frankly there’s also not a whole lot of real hatred either. They might be geographical rivals and they might be cross-League rivals, but really, neither team is very good right now. So watching the two teams play against each other is kind of like watching the two weakest kids in school get into a fistfight. Initially it sounds entertaining because the word fight (in this case “rivalry”) is tossed around, but really, it’s just a lot of weak, futile fists flailing about. And no matter who wins, no one really wins.

And then last night, a great idea occurred to me. What if the two teams combined into one “super” team? Would that team be “super?” You be the judge. Here I present to you my melding of the two teams’ current 40 man rosters into one 25-man roster. For posterity’s sake, lets place them in the AL East (and move the Pirates to the NL East). Where would this team finish?

Catcher: Matt Wieters (Baltimore). This is a no contest between Wieters and Pudge Rodriguez. Wieters is a power hitting catcher in his early 20’s with tremendous upside. Pudge Rodriguez is a useless stopgap until Derek Norris is ready to move to catcher for Washington (If he ever gets there. There are many who don’t think he projects out to be a ML catcher. We’ll see)

First Baseman: Adam Dunn (Washington). Also a no contest. Baltimore’s 1B is Garrett Atkins, a serviceable option, but nowhere near the power hitter that Dunn is.

Second Baseman: Brian Roberts (Baltimore). Again, not even close between Roberts and Adam Kennedy.

Third Baseman: Ryan Zimmerman (Washington). The easiest no-brainer so far. Miguel Tejada couldn’t carry Zimm’s glove at this point in his career.

Shortstop: Ian Desmond (Washington). Not a lot of talent (yet) on either roster at SS. I take the younger Desmond and his potential over whatever it is that Cesar Izturis or Julio Lugo provide.

Left Field: Nyjer Morgan (Washington). I’m cheating by moving Morgan to LF, but there isn’t enough speed on this team and while Nolan Reimold (Baltimore) would be my choice over Josh Willingham (Washington), Morgan provides an element that every team needs: A man named Nyjer. Also, speed.

Center Field: Adam Jones (Baltimore). Moving on…

Right Field: Nick Markakis (Baltimore). Ditto. I mean, sorry Willie Harris, but you had no chance.

DH (remember, AL): Josh Willingham (Washington). Really, a very underrated hitter. He’s hit 20+ HR 3 times in his 4 full Major League seasons. And has a career OPS of .840. Not bad from a guy many people disregard.

Bench: Nolan Reimold, Ivan Rodriguez, Garrett Atkins and Julio Lugo

Starting Pitchers: Jason Marquis, John Lannan, Stephen Strasburg…remember 40 man rosters..(Washington), Kevin Millwood and Brian Matusz (Baltimore)

Relief Pitchers: Matt Capps, Brian Bruney, Jason Bergmann (Washington), Will Ohman, Mike Gonzalez, Cla Meredith, Jim Johnson (Baltimore)

Batting Order:

LF Nyjer Morgan
2B Brian Roberts
3B Ryan Zimmerman
1B Adam Dunn
CF Adam Jones

An MLB Preview in fewer than 1,000 words. Possible? Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible.

Predicted Order of Finish

AL East:

1. Boston
2. Tampa Bay (AL Wild Card)
3. New York
4. Baltimore
5. Toronto

Breakdown: I don’t think the fire will be there with the Yankees this year after winning last year. The Red Sox have the deepest rotation in the division, a lineup that, if it’s not the best, is 1a, and the best manager in the American League, no matter what Matt Minton says. Tampa Bay will score a ton of runs and I think their pitching is just good enough to get them the AL Wild Card. Baltimore will be a much better club, behind young pitcher Brian Matusz and a solid offensive nucleus, including Adam Jones and Nick Markakis (in that order). And Toronto might be the worst team in the league, featuring a pitching rotation with a surplus of questions and a dearth of answers.

I tend to write a lot about a few things. One of them is driving. Another is travel. And usually, it’s about traveling by car.

Sunday, I went for an aimless, “lonely” drive. The concept of the aimless, “lonely” drive is not new to me. It’s a treasured, historic one. I don’t remember the first time I thought it would be a good idea to just waste fuel. It goes against my viewpoint that the environment should not be treated like a toilet bowl. But whenever it was, it would have to stem from the first drive I ever took by myself.

I was 16 and had a pair of concert tickets I wanted to pick up in Providence that I had won from the radio. My father, in his infinite wisdom, having a son who had just got his license, thought it was perfectly fine to hand me the keys to his 1986 Volvo 240 and drive it into Providence during rush hour. As I write that sentence now, I sense the immaturity. I mean, it’s just Providence. How bad could it be? Well, anyone who remembers that car, which would soon become mine thanks to my father’s kindness, remembers that it had the rather novel issue of “running.” For no reason, that car would just stall, whether it was on highway, driveway, parkway, or just a plain old way. It stalled twice within a 1/2 mile of my leaving my house, and even though I thought it wise to turn back, I was just tasting my first moment of real freedom. And that’s probably where my love of driving began: That first “lonesome” journey.

The term “lonesome” finds itself in quotes in this space because I acknowledge that to most people, the idea of being in a car by yourself, with no ultimate destination, seems counterproductive to the ultimate goal of enjoying being alive. I get this. But it’s never been me. There is a, I don’t know, “oneness” that I feel when I’m driving that I don’t normally feel in my everyday life. I’m typically much more relaxed, more focused, and almost more hopeful when I’m driving alone. The idea of having no destination is exciting, if not a false idea, because really, my destination will always be “home.” I’m leaving home to get there. Just in a completely different mindset than when I left.

Sunday’s drive took me to the eastern portion of the Beltway, between College Park and the Wilson Bridge, the portion that I had no reason to ever drive before. Most of what lies in that area is, well, not nice. Lots of “Heights.” Capitol Heights. District Heights. Congress Heights. None of these are places I need to go.

After passing over the Wilson Bridge, I found myself driving through beautiful Old Town Alexandria, VA. My previous idea of “Old Town” was restricted to King St. from the Masonic Temple to the waterfront. What I didn’t know was that there is an array of beauty in the areas off of King St. Areas that reminded me a lot of Newport, RI and Cape Cod. As I headed out of Old Town, I got onto the G(eorge) W(ashington) Parkway, and drove it south, along the water, to Mount Vernon, another place I have never been. The drive is beautiful. 8 miles through the woods. Winding street. 45 MPH. Perfection by my standards.

All told, I probably drove about 85 miles on Sunday and while many people would argue that I went nowhere and ultimately furthered our country’s dependency on foreign oil, I would argue that while the latter is true, I went further than 85 miles.

For two hours, I got to free my mind from its confined space and experience the openness of the road. And while that might sound a little too “Dave Matthews-y” for yours and my own liking, it’s true. With some music and some fresh air, all of the weight and clutter of my head became free for a few hours. And that’s why the aimless “lonesome” drive is such a false statement. There’s more purpose in it for me than the trip to the grocery store. The aim is enjoyment and relaxation, both of which I take for granted most of the time. And as far as I can tell, I’m never lonesome when I have the road at my car’s feet, and the wheel at my own hands.

There was a time as recently as 4 years ago where movies didn’t excite me. At all. I could have cared less to take 2 hours of my time and sit still watching something. And then I was jobless and going to the movies became a fun experience for me because it took me away from my joblessness and took me to a suspenseful place, or a funny place, or a smarter place, sometimes even a dumber place.

In 2008, I decided to see every “Best Picture” nominee, because it was a reasonable, reachable goal. And I achieved that goal. The joy of seeing all of the movies was that I could bitch about how “Juno” didn’t belong in the same category as “No Country for Old Men,” “There Will be Blood,” “Michael Clayton,” and “Atonement.” And thankfully, “Juno” didn’t win “Best Picture.

This year, Oscar decided to mess with my wallet, by nominating 10 movies. However, I’ve outsmarted Oscar because now I have a job and thus money that I can choose to spend on movies, as opposed to food or housing. With that, I give you my picks for the 82nd Academy Awards (I’m only going with the main awards, not the visual, audio editing, etc.):

Best Foreign Language Film
“The White Ribbon”
“The Milk of Sorrow”
“Un Prophete”
“El Secreto de Sus Ojos”
“Ajami”

The Winner: “The White Ribbon.” Running away. I saw none of these and never will because lately, I find that reading subtitles distracts me, which is troublesome. But this isn’t about my neurosis, so we’ll move on.

Best Animated Feature
“Up”
“Coraline”
“Fantastic Mr. Fox”
“The Secret of Kells”
“The Princess and the Frog”

The Winner: “Up.” If it’s nominated for Best Picture and none of the others are, it would stand to reason that it would be the winner. Its only other contender is “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” but I think “Up” is a fairly solid pick here.

Best Adapted Screenplay
“District 9”
“An Education”
“Up in the Air”
“In the Loop “
“Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire”

The Winner: “Up in the Air.” This is an easy pick on the surface, but harder when you start to think about it. “Up in the Air” has lost a lot of steam in terms of hype and I think that “Precious” is a contender, but for my money, “Up in the Air’s” screenplay was miles better than its competition here.

Best Original Screenplay
“Avatar”
“The Hurt Locker”
“Up”
“A Serious Man”
“The Messenger”

The Winner: “The Hurt Locker.” I’ve changed this pick 3 times now. Originally, I went with “Up.” Then I decided on “Avatar.” Finally, I went with “The Hurt Locker.” I picked “Up” because I think it’s a dark horse with some legs, but I’m not sure that this is such a dark horse year for the Oscars, in terms of award distribution. The dark horses came in the nomination process. I’m going with “The Hurt Locker” over “Avatar” because comparing the two screenplays, I thought “The Hurt Locker’s” was better, but still not necessarily the best in this category.

(In some sort of idiotic recalling of nominees, I included “Avatar” (which is not actually nominated) in this category and excluded “Inglourious Basterds” (which is). This was an obscenely gross error, as far as I’m concerned. I’m still going with “The Hurt Locker,” though. I apologize for me stupidity.)

Best Supporting Actor
Matt Damon (“Invictus”)
Woody Harrleson (“The Messenger”)
Christoph Waltz (“Inglourious Basterds”)
Stanley Tucci (“The Lovely Bones”)
Christopher Plummer (“The Last Station”)

The Winner: Christoph Waltz. Someone tell me how Stanley Tucci and Matt Damon got nominated for “The Lovely Bones” and “Invictus.” Please. Who saw “The Lovely Bones?” Moving on…

Best Supporting Actress
Vera Farmiga (“Up in the Air”)
Anna Kendrick (“Up in the Air”)
Mo’Nique (“Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire”)
Penelope Cruz (“Nine”)
Maggie Gyllenhaal (“Crazy Heart”)

The Winner: Mo’Nique. If you had told me two years ago that Mo’Nique would be winning an Academy Award, I would have asked you who Tyler Perry paid and how much. She was stunningly good in “Precious.” All of these performances (I haven’t seen “Nine”) were phenomenally good and I’d be happy if any of them won. I’m looking forward to this category as much as any other, short of “Best Picture.”

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges (“Crazy Heart”)
George Clooney (“Up in the Air”)
Jeremy Renner (“The Hurt Locker”)
Colin Firth (“A Single Man”)
Morgan Freeman (“Invictus”)

The Winner: Jeff Bridges. Easy. He makes the Bad Blake character a beautiful man, even when he’s throwing up on himself outside of a bowling alley in Santa Fe. He’s just great. As much as I loved Clooney, this deserves to be Jeff Bridges award.

Best Actress
Meryl Streep (“Julie and Julia”)
Sandra Bullock (“The Blind Side”)
Carey Mulligan (“An Education”)
Gabourey Sidibe (“Precious: Based on the novel “Push” by Sapphire”)
Helen Mirren (“The Movie That She Was in During This Film Cycle, No Matter What It Was About or Who Saw It”)

The Winner: Sandra Bullock. Hard. The opposite of its “Best Actor” counterpart. Streep and Sidibe are contenders and Sidibe would fit the bill as a “great story” if she won. Sidibe was great in her role as Preciouis. And Streep (though I haven’t seen “Julie and Julia”) is Meryl Streep. She can win any time she’s nominated. And of course, don’t forget Mirren, who I don’t care the least bit about, but people fawn over even though she seems to play the same character in her movies. And just because she should be mentioned, I loved Carey Mulligan in the very underrated “An Education.” But for me, surprisingly as it was to me, Bullock was terrific in “The Blind Side.” Just the right amount of sass. And charm. And presence. You really can’t take your eyes off of Bullock in her scenes. She’s just great. I can’t believe I’m typing this. She was also in “All About Steve” this year. Let’s try to forget that and move on.

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow (“The Hurt Locker”)
James Cameron (“Avatar”)
Quentin Tarantino (“Inglourious Basterds”)
Lee Daniels (“Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire)
Jason Reitman (“Up in the Air”)

The Winner: Kathryn Bigelow. This is massively awkward because of Cameron and Bigelow’s previous marriage and the fact that their vehicles here are so different (more on that soon). I give the nod to Bigelow, very tentatively over Cameron, because of the suspense she built in “The Hurt Locker.” Tarantino is considered “due” by Academy standards, but he’s not the kind of director that mainstream America roots for, like Scorsese is/was before he won his “Best Director” award for “The Departed.” I don’t know that Bigelow has the body of work to push her past Cameron if this is a head-to-head, but “The Hurt Locker” is an Academy movie and “Avatar” is not, or at least shouldn’t be. Which reminds me:

Best Picture
“Up”
“Up in the Air”
“An Education”
“Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire”
“Avatar”
“Inglourious Basterds”
“The Hurt Locker”
“District 9”
“The Blind Side”
“A Serious Man”

Before I get to the my pick for winner, I’m going to place odds on each of these movies to win “Best Picture” in terms of my own personal opinion. I’d like to take wagers from folks, but I’m not sure if I’d ever pay out if someone won. Here’s how I think they stand:

“Avatar”: 3 to 2
“The Hurt Locker”: 2 to 1
“Inglourious Basterds”: 5 to 1
“Precious” Based on the…”: 8 to 1
“Up in the Air”: 10 to 1
“Up”: 15 to 1
“The Blind Side”: 25 to 1
“An Education”: 50 to 1
“A Serious Man”: 100 to 1
“District 9”: 150 to 1

The Winner: “The Hurt Locker.” “Basterds” is right on its heels and you cannot count out “Avatar” because you never know with the Academy. If Cameron had not won for “Titanic” I would be pretty sure that “Avatar” would win this year, but “The Hurt Locker” comes out, despite its lack of an audience, in a time when the War on Something (Iraq) is really unpopular and it showcases the realistic human element of that life and is incredibly suspenseful. “Basterds” is a realistic dark horse, but I don’t think there’s enough Tarantino support. I’ll take my own 2 to 1 odds on “The Hurt Locker.

And now, I let you know how I really feel about movies. Here are the “Best Picture” nominees, ranked in reverse order of how much I enjoyed them.

10. “Avatar”: Just a giant, expensive piece of crap. The writing and acting are deplorable in this movie. For as pretty as it is, I don’t really care. I don’t like when a director/writer relies on art direction to make a movie. To me, a script will always make a movie. And “Avatar” ain’t got that, baby.

9. “District 9”: I waited to see it until the last moment and I can see why. I’ll never know if this movie wanted to be an action movie or a black comedy, because it didn’t really work on either front. An interesting enough story, I guess. It wins out over “Avatar” here because it didn’t take too much of my time, whereas James Cameron owes me 150 minutes.

8. “A Serious Man”: Forgettable performances, forgettable writing, predictable ending, because it was done by the Coen brothers. Time has not favored this movie in my head.

7. “The Blind Side”: There’s a huge gap between “Avatar” and “The Blind Side.” This was an enjoyable movie. It was not groundbreaking cinema, but I never looked at my watch once and found it a passable way to spend 130 minutes of my life.

6. “Up”: The opening 15 minutes were great, but from there the movie slipped a little for me. I didn’t love this. It was an okay effort. I found myself hopelessly annoyed with Russell.

5. “Precious: Based on, eh whatever”: Great performances by Mo’Nique and Sidibe make this movie very good, but not great. The writing seriously could have used some work.

4. “An Education”: We now enter the great category. This was a terrific movie that could have very easily been in my Top 2 with a different ending. But before the ending, I loved every bit of it. Equal parts somber, weird, cute, and interesting, its greatness was due in large part to wonderful performances by Carey Mulligan and the always great Peter Sarsgaard.

3. “The Hurt Locker”: I did not leave the theatre raving about how good of a time I had, but I can acknowledge certainly that this is a great movie. As I’ve mentioned already and everyone else has, you won’t find a more suspenseful movie. The acting is pretty good, though I don’t believe Renner deserved a nomination for “Best Actor.” It finds itself ahead of “An Education” because of the movie that it wants to be and succeeds in being. Bigelow took a risk making this movie and pulled off a great piece of film.

2. “Inglourious Basterds”: I don’t think I had more fun at a movie than I did the first time I saw “Basterds” in theatres. The end sequence is phenomenal, but not my favorite. I could watch the first scene of this movie every day and never, ever get tired of it. I would go so far as to say that it is the best written scene I have ever seen in a film. “Au Revoir Shoshanna!”

1. “Up in the Air”: This will eventually go down as one of my favorite movies ever. It’s kind of like “Garden State” for intelligent 20 and 30 somethings. Except the ending is perfect. And the acting is perfect. And the writing is perfect. And…Look, this is not groundbreaking cinema. Every year, there is/are one or two or three movies that resemble “Up in the Air” in some way. None are this good though. This is a movie that can easily have its viewers changed by the time they leave the theatre. It sticks with you long after you see it. Not enough can be said for how good Clooney, Farmiga, and Kendrick are both together and separately. Their performances are completely spot on. I saw it twice in theatres and I could easily go again and again and again and, you know what, it would affect me the same each time. And I love that in movies. And that’s why “Up in the Air” is my favorite movie from this cycle of films. And the one I’ll be rooting for the most this Sunday.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been kind of in love. You’d think that this was some sort of “me trying to be cute and funny” line, but it’s true. With sports, it’s a different love than personal love, but for me, it’s still love. I fall in love with players because of how they play (Barry Sanders, Alexander Ovechkin, Barry Bonds), their attitude towards playing, i.e. their “fire” (Kevin Garnett, Tim Tebow), and I fall in love with teams because of a collective being that captivates me (2008 Boston Celtics, 2005 West Virginia Men’s basketball).

I’m sad right now because we’re at the end of a two week love affair that is over and is never going to come back. From the first game they played against Switzerland, I was in love with the U.S. Men’s hockey team in the 2010 Winter Olympics. I fell in love with players and I fell in love with the collective team.

For players, at the top of my list is Dustin Brown. Brown’s impact is not seen in stat sheets, but he’s the kind of player who rarely makes a poor decision and always plays hard. I would give up nearly anything for him to be on the Caps so I could watch him 82 times a season. I fell in love with the grit of David Backes and Jack Johnson. I fell in love with the elite defense of Erik Johnson. I fell in love with the never-give-in attitude of Ryan Kesler, who was never the best player on the ice, but was always in on important plays. And of course, like the rest of the U.S. hockey world, I fell in love with Ryan Miller, who might not be a top 5 goalie in the NHL, but played like it for two weeks in February 2010.

But really, I fell in love with the team. I love underdogs and no matter what the old timers who remember 1980 will tell you, this was my generation’s underdog U.S. hockey team. Was this Olympics as important as 1980? I don’t care. It was important to me and to a load of American hockey fans who longed for success and progress and frankly, that’s all that matters. For two weeks we got to bear witness to a scrappy group of American hockey players, most under 27 years of age, battling for the gold medal at the Olympics. 12 years ago, we watched an over-the-hill group of privilege NHL stars trash hotel rooms in Nagano and embarrass our nation. 8 years ago, a boring group of Americans with no identity, but a fair amount of star power, won the silver medal in Salt Lake City and no one noticed. And 4 years ago in Turin, we finished 8th with an inferior team with limited skill. What happened in the last four years was that we were able to develop and then blend great, young talents. There is, in my opinion, no future Hockey Hall of Famer on this team. Maybe Erik Johnson if he can keep away from the injury bug. Perhaps Patrick Kane, if he matures more quickly than he has so far, both as a person and a player. But really, compared to our Northern rivals, on paper, we couldn’t compare. They had sure-fire future Hall of Famers Sidney Crosby, Jarome Iginla, Martin Brodeur, Scott Niedemeyer, and Chris Pronger. And not to mention a group of other elite talents (Eric Staal, Dany Heatley, Joe Thornton). And then we beat them in the preliminary round. And the hockey world took notice.

Today’s overtime loss left me feeling, obviously, disappointed. But not necessarily because of the loss to Canada. Or that Sidney Crosby (who I prefer to call Crosbaby) scored the game-winning goal. No, as I said to Jim, who you’ll remember as the 2009 Mid Atlantic Bias Football Picks Champion, after the game, never before have I really been this drawn to an all-star team or a national team. Rarely do I find myself cheering on the Americans in basketball or soccer like I did with this men’s hockey team. Watching the scrappy Americans left me with a genuine feeling of national pride as they beat the Swiss, Norwegians, Canadians, Swiss again, and the Fins. And you know, as Crosbaby’s overtime goal shot through the legs of Ryan Miller, none of the pride disappeared. Not to sound like a parent, but I was proud of our guys. And I was disappointed when I realized that I would never again get to see this group play hockey together again.

Time will tell if American hockey will remain a powerhouse on the world stage. The Russians, Fins, Czechs, Swedes, and Slovaks have long been better at the sport than the U.S. because our youth focus more on basketball and football, which we excel at, at an unparalleled world level. However, after watching our Men’s team these past two weeks, I truly believe that hockey can very well be a third notch in our belt on the world stage. With such a young roster and the continued development of home grown talent, we will be expected to, at the very least, medal in Sochi, Russia in four years. If not win the gold.

Four years is a very long time to wait to savor the fruits of one’s labor. But in my opinion, American hockey fans don’t have to wait that long. Now is the perfect time. Yes, we came up a goal short of the Canadians, a roster full of future hall-of-fame players. But we proved that we’re here and here to stay, not like in 1980 or 2002, when we, frankly, got lucky. Our silver medal was more than deserved in Vancouver. We earned it. And I’ll always cherish my two week love affair with the 2010 U.S. Men’s Olympic Hockey squad.