Barry Melrose, ESPN’s only hockey analyst, will now be making daily Sportscenter appearances, as the NHL playoffs has begun. This is a joy to anyone who enjoys dry wit, honesty, and overt sarcasm. Melrose must truly despise ESPN for relegating him during the regular season to a tw0 day a week sideshow, when he used to be a full-time in studio analyst. Additionally, he must despise ESPN for making the NHL a two day a week, two minute sideshow during the regular season. However, Barry gets his revenge for the next two months and I couldn’t be happier.

In regards to the NHL playoffs last night, the only big surprise (and a big one it was) was the Calgary Flames winning at the Shark Tank (or HP Pavilion) in game 1 of their series with the Sharks. If the Flames win Game 2 and return to the Saddledome with a 2-0 lead, this series is over and seemingly everyone’s (except for mine (Penguins) and Matt’s (Bruins…)) pick to win the cup will be, again, ousted too early.

I’d also like to welcome readers David and Sylwia to the fold. It makes me very happy to have new readers at Mid-Atlantic Bias. David hates sports, but loves zombies. Sylwia is a huge New Jersey Devils fan. Talking about zombies would push Mid-Atlantic Bias into “Shark Jumping” territory and I don’t see the Devils getting past the Rangers, so I may soon lose two readers.

I sneakily alluded to the NBA in yesterday’s post and the fact that I have ignored the Association for the past few weeks. It’s not that I haven’t been following what’s going on, but here’s the deal: The Eastern Conference situation is set in stone. The second round of the playoffs will include the Magic, Celtics, Pistons, and Cavaliers. I would be shocked if the Hawks, Raptors, Wizards, or 76ers advanced past Round 1 (though for the sake of argument, I’d most expect it from Philly). As for the Western Conference, the situation is so fluid there that, really, what’s the point of me making a prediction if it’s just going to look foolish by the end of the week? The answer: It gives me something to write about.

Here’s how I see the West finishing out this season:

1. Los Angeles Lakers
-With Pau Gasol back, this team is back to being the best in the West, at least on paper.
2. New Orleans Hornets
-I’m not getting off the bandwagon. I still think they’re the best team in the West, once the game is played on court. Their remaining schedule, however, is not as easy as LA’s.
3. Utah Jazz
-The Western Conference X-Factor. When they’re on they can beat anyone in a 7 game series. They just need to start playing better basketball on the road.
4. San Antonio Spurs
-Anything I say has already been said. Uncanny ability to compete at a high level every year. Not very dangerous, in my opinion, however, this year.
5. Phoenix Suns
-They’ve somehow righted the ship post-the “Big Cactus” trade. They don’t scare me very much, however.
6. Houston Rockets
-I don’t think they’re a contender out West. They’re a 6 seed because when you win 22 consecutive games, your record is going to be pretty good. However, they won 22 consecutive and I think they’ll be a 6 seed. That’s saying something.
7. Dallas Mavericks
-Not a very good team.
8. Golden State Warriors
-I’m going with my heart here, because I like Nellie-ball and I don’t really want to see Carmelo Anthony, JR Smith, and 9-28 shooting Allen Iverson in the playoffs. I also think the Warriors have a outside shot of winning the West if they can steer clear of the Jazz, who offer them a pretty large matchup problem.

And there you have it:

Los Angeles vs. Golden State
New Orleans vs. Dallas
Utah vs. Houston
San Antonio vs. Phoenix

While I am procrastinating with my Round 2 Mock Draft, understand my insane levels of excitement for my NBA Mock Draft which you can expect in a month and a half.

Game O’ The Day: We’re sticking with the NHL Playoffs, kids. Tonight’s slate of games features Nashville and Detroit, Boston and Montreal, and Anaheim and Dallas in Game 1 of their series. However, the Game o’ The Day is Game Two of San Jose and Calgary. A must win for the Sharks.

There may be no Mid-Atlantic Bias tomorrow as I will be entertaining a visitor to the D.C. Metro Area. So try to mentally prepare yourself for a lack of Mid-Atlantic Bias for the next three days. Have a lovely weekend.

Is there any worse fate for a female athlete than winning the National Title one night and becoming a WNBA player the next morning? And so Candace Parker, the best female basketball player ever, will be captured by a gentle breeze and be brought into obscurity as a member of the Los Angeles Sparks. I’ll be at the Verizon Center on May 31 to watch the Mystics and Sparks play so that I can say I’ve seen the best female basketball player ever play…but I won’t enjoy it.

I’ll spare you a long analysis of last night’s game (I missed the first half because Big Brother was on). The second half was the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. Both teams committing turnover after turnover. For those of you unaware, the Lady Vols won their second consecutive title last night. Nikki Anosike did not score 15 (12 actually), but the Vols didn’t need her to, as they got big performances from the rest of their starting 5 and shut down Stanford’s electric offense, holding Candice Wiggins to 6-16 shooting.

Here in the District, the primary sports story is not the Washington Nationals, who served under 20,000 people during Monday’s second game at the new Nationals Ballpark (I’d go tonight, but they’re facing the Marlins and really, I don’t need to see Scott Olsen pitch for a second time in my life, as I saw him in Miami two summers ago). The story here is about the Washington Capitals and even I am on the bandwagon, though as a jobless fool, I cannot see myself paying 45 bucks for a ticket to a game. If I had a job, I’d be there every night. I’m still picking the Penguins to win the Stanley Cup this year. Not only does the NHL need it, but I think that their one of the 4 best teams in the league. So they have a shot. As for the first round, I see this happening:

Montreal over Boston in 4
Pittsburgh over Ottawa in 6
Washington over Philadelphia in 5
New York over New Jersey in 5

Detroit over Nashville in 5
San Jose over Calgary in 4
Colorado over Minnesota in 6
Dallas over Anaheim in 7

The thought of starting my 2nd round Mock Draft occurred to me today. However, Aqib Talib and Mario Manningham both admitted to failing multiple drug tests (marijuana) in college. Here’s my problem. Talib and Manningham are both 1st round picks. However, they’ll drop to late 2nd round picks, at least, because of what will be deemed as “character issues.” Smoking marijuana is not a character issue. Shooting people in the head is a character issue. Not playing hard is a character issue. Smoking dope is not a character issue. I can safely make the hypothesis that everyone who reads my blog, including myself, has smoked marijuana before, some in larger quantities than others. And I also have it on good authority that no person who reads my blog has committed murder. Unless Aqib Talib and Mario Manningham demand that they play every Sunday blazed out of their skulls, it’s not really a big deal. But it will be. So as they move down draft boards, they make whatever Mock Draft i make completely irrelevant, because I cannot bring myself to make 1st round draft picks, 3rd round draft picks because they smoke marijuana.

Game O’ The Day: 4 NHL playoff games today. The most intriguing matchup is the Devils/Rangers, whoever, unless you have The Sports Network or MSG, you aren’t watching this game. So if it comes down to the two games on Versus (Penguins/Senators at 7, Flames/Sharks at 10) I’ll go with the former as my Game O’ The Day. Eventually, I’ll start paying attention to the NBA again. Perhaps tomorrow…

As a note of full disclosure, I almost forgot today that I have a blog, hence my throwing together a quick post at 5:45.

In regards to last night’s game, I’d be just another flutist in the London Symphony Orchestra if I talked about how Memphis blew last night’s game. Look, it’s this simple: Make your free throws. Today, I was driving by a basketball court, turned around, parked my car, got out, and drained two free throws. Unorthodox? Sure. A little weird? Perhaps. But I did this for two reasons:
1.) I really wanted to play basketball. I continued past the 2 free throws to shoot around, in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, for 45 minutes. It was great.
2.) I wanted to, with no mental preparation, jump to the line and hit free throws. I am a terrible basketball player. I couldn’t play Division III basketball for the worst Division III program. However, I hit my free throws. And no, I’m not doing it in front of millions of viewers on television and thousands in San Antonio, but everybody knows that when you’re in a crunch situation, as a basketball player, you’ve got to take yourself out of the moment and just realize it’s you, a ball, a basket, and 15 feet. And that’s it. It’s all mental.

Kudos to Kansas (mmm…alliteration) for sticking in and going with a philosophy Rick Barnes should have gone with in the Elite 8 against the Tigers. FOUL THEM! It would have been easy to have conceded defeat, down 9 with 2 and a half to play, but Kansas and Bill Self played their cards and played them right. And for that, they have a much deserved National Title and Bill Self will soon be T. Boone Pickett’s favorite person ever.

MASSIVE KUDOS to the Red Sox (see the CAPS) for doing what I was calling for after the 2004 World Series, in having Bill Buckner throw out the first pitch this afternoon at Fenway. And an even BIGGGGGGER KUDOS to “The Nation” for standing up and applauding the man, like he deserved for the past 21 years.

There’s another National Title game tonight that could very well be just as good as last night’s game, which leads me (in this abbreviated post) to today’s:

Game O’ The Day: Candice vs. Candace…er…..Stanford vs. Tennessee in the Women’s College Title Game. But really, this is about the two best players in women’s basketball, Candice Wiggins of Stanford and Candace Parker of Tennessee, going head-to-head for a second time. The Cardinal won in Palo Alto in December, in what was a “get-away” game (the day before Christmas Eve. Candace Parker nearly missed her flight out of SFO that night because the game went to Overtime). Parker is now playing with a dislocated left shoulder and a banged up right shoulder. Parker plays with the better supporting cast. However, Stanford has a fully healthy Wiggins who has dominated the tournament to this point. The key to this game is Nikki Anosike of the Vols. I guarantee is she scores at least 15, the lady Vols will win the title. If she doesn’t, they’ll need even more from the injured Candace Parker. Anosike will score 10. Parker will put up a valiant 20/10, but it will be Wiggins who shines tonight as the Cardinal win the National Title with a 60-53 victory in St. Petersburg.

So, we can officially stop talking about UCLA winning the title now, right?

There really aren’t enough words in the English language to describe what Derrick Rose did to Darren Collison (and the overblown Russell Westbrook) on Saturday night in the Memphis/UCLA game. Destroyed doesn’t work because there weren’t actual parts of Darren Collison’s body strewn about the Alamodome floor. He didn’t literally “burn” Collison, as I did not see “Seal-like” marks on the sulking guard’s face as he sat on the bench after fouling out of the game. Perhaps a phrase works best. Derrick Rose looked like he was on rollerblades as he blew past Collison whenever he wanted to during Saturday’s first game. Derrick Rose is this era’s Jason Kidd. Collison looked like the freshman on Saturday night. Not Rose. The moment that best encapsulated the game between Memphis and UCLA occurred on Collison’s 5th foul, as he listlessly swatted at Rose’s arm, seemingly waving his white flag, admitting that he had been beaten. And beaten badly.

Billy Packer was so astute in referring to Saturday night’s game between North Carolina and Kansas as three different games. Game one was the most dominating basketball I have seen in years. Game two saw Kansas hit a wall. North Carolina didn’t play very well in Game two. Kansas just couldn’t get its legs back. When you come out of the locker room with the intensity and the “Nothing Will Stop Us” mentality that Kansas did, you’re going to get tired. It’s science. The human body cannot perform at the level that the Jayhawks’ bodies performed in the first 10 minutes of the game Saturday. But then Game 3 happened and Kansas got their energy back and North Carolina, with no one able to hit a consistent shot, faded back into mediocrity.

Before I go to tonight’s game, a few last thoughts about Saturday. The two more athletic teams won. UCLA will not win a title until Ben Howland changes his coaching philosophy. Where you can succeed in the NFL with a “defense first” mentality, you can’t do that in Men’s College Basketball and the last 3 Final Fours make this clear. UCLA may have the athletes to compete with guys like Corey Brewer (formally of the Florida Gators) and Derrick Rose and CDR of this year’s Memphis teams, but they don’t use those players in an athletic role. And they lose because of it.

Game O’ The Day: Kansas vs. Memphis. Here’s the Breakdown of tonight’s game.

Guard Play: I give the advantage to Memphis, by the slimmest of margins. The Tigers have the best player amongst the two teams’ guards (Derrick Rose), but the Jayhawks have the next three in Russell Robinson, Mario Chalmers, and Sherron Collins. But how can you go against what Derrick Rose has done in this tournament. Again, if that man/boy/kid/teenager/star isn’t the top pick in the NBA Draft, an injustice will have occurred.

Frontcourts: I give the slight advantage to Kansas here, again, by a very slim margin. Brandon Rush v. Chris Douglas-Roberts is going to be a fascinating in-game matchup. They’re both long swingman with the ability to shoot and drive. I like Rush’s outside shooting more than I like CDR’s. In the Darrell Arthur/Joey Dorsey matchup, I would like to see Dorsey score a point or two in this game (0 points against UCLA Saturday). However, if he can shut down Arthur’s offensive game, Memphis will have a good shot at winning the title.

Coaches: I give an enormous advantage to Memphis here. Bill Self is not a good motivator. He’s not a good in-game coach. You saw that Saturday. If you’re coaching a team that goes from being up 28 to being up 10 in a matter of minutes, you’re not doing your job. Self is only here because of how good and deep his team is. Calipari, on the other hand, is a master motivator and a great in-game coach.

Bench: Advantage to Kansas. Sherron Collins is the best player coming off either bench and I think Sasha Kaun is the second best. And please, don’t forget the performance Cole Aldrich gave us Saturday night for the Jayhawks.

Momentum: Advantage to Memphis. They’ve wiped out Michigan State, Texas, and UCLA and made them look like Central Michigan, Texas Tech, and UCSB. Kansas may be very tired from Saturday’s game. Memphis should be fresher than California strawberries in June.

I would hope that we will be treated to a splendid game tonight. Both Memphis and Kansas are super athletic and incredibly deep. They’re close in the starting 5. Kansas has the better bench. Memphis has the better coach. None of these players have played on the first Monday of April, as the ball goes up at 9:21 p.m. Neither of these coaches have been there either. Saturday’s games are different than Monday’s game. There’s more hype on Saturday night. Monday night is the real deal. It’s always been that way. Name a time when the better team didn’t win on Monday night.

Tonight’s game is a basketball culture clash. The Kansas blue-bloods vs. The Memphis blue-balls. Kansas’ legacy vs. Memphis’ long-term wait for glory (hence the blue-balls). James Naismith vs. Anfernee Hardaway. Phog Allen Fieldhouse, a college basketball mecca vs. FedEx Forum, a recently christened arena. The only things these teams have in common is the color blue and an uptempo style. Beyond that, you’ll have old white men in blue crewneck sweaters on one side and screaming urban youths in XXXXL black T-shirts on the other. It should be fun.

The better team tonight will be the Memphis Tigers. As much as I’ve always had a dislike for Memphis, I’ve grown to really like this team. The turning point for me was the Georgetown game in December, when they outclassed and outhusteled the Hoyas. I’ve always had a love for teams that bust their ass. And Memphis does that. They’ll win tonight 78-68 over Kansas, putting an end to a great season of college basketball.

Tomorrow you’ll have my breakdown of Stanford and Tennessee in the Woman’s final, as well as my thoughts about the Washington Capitals making the NHL Playoffs. Until then, please enjoy the game tonight as much as I hope to.

Below, you will find Matthew, Kristen, and Amanda’s picks and predictions for the 2008 MLB Season.

I have only one thing I want to mention personally today and that is the Washington Capitals. I’m excited about the Caps making the playoffs. The NHL needs it. They need Sidney Crosby and Alex the Great in the playoffs, especially if it’s against each other, which at this point is completely possible.

I’m going to terminate Mid-Atlantic Bias..wait for it

wait for it

wait….

The Weekend Edition because you and I have better things to do on Saturday and Sunday then read/write 13 words about sports.

Game O’ The Weekend: Not that Memphis/UCLA won’t be a great game, but Kansas/UNC is epic because of the Roy Williams storyline. I’ve never seen a final four this good in my life. I hope the games live up to the potential that they possess.

See you Monday. Continue below for Matt, Kristen, and Amanda’s picks.

(You will see that Amanda doesn’t believe in the traditional listing of divisions)

NL CENTRAL

1. Milwaukee Brewers
2. Chicago Cubs
3. Cincinnati Reds
4. Houston Astros
5. St.Louis Cardinals
6. Pittsburg Pirates

AL WEST
1. Seattle Mariners
2. Los Angeles Angels
3. Oakland A’s
4. Texas Rangers

NL EAST
1. Philadelphia Phillies
2. New York Mets
3. Atlanta Braves
4. Washington Nationals
5. Florida Marlins

AL CENTRAL
1. Cleveland Indians
2. Detroit Tigers
3. Kansas City Royals
4. Chicago White Sox
5. Minnesota Twins

AL EAST
1. Boston Red Sox
2. New York Yankees
3. Tampa Bay Rays
4. Toronto Blue Jays
5. Baltimore Orioles

NL WEST
1. Arizona Diamondbacks
2. Colorado Rockies
3. San Diego Padres
4. Los Angeles Dodgers
5. San Francisco Giants

Playoffs

American League

Cleveland over Seattle
Detroit over Boston

Cleveland over Detroit

National League

Arizona over Philadelphia
Colorado over Milwaukee

Arizona over Colorado

WORLD SERIES

Arizona over Cleveland

AL East
(aka Home To #1 and #4 Highest Payrolls In Baseball)

1. Boston Red Sox
The Red Sox have won the division every year I’ve lived New York City,
so it’s a foregone conclusion. Even without the presence of The Stud
Who Hits Bombs, the Red Sox will manage to win close to 100, if not
100 games this year. Manny’s reading The Secret, Youks isn’t making
errors, and (hopefully) no one will talk about cancer this year – the
perfect combination. Also, let’s not forget that Curt is going to come
back after the All Star Break and dominate so he can legitimize his $8
million.

2. New York Yankees
The Yankees have won the wildcard every year that I have lived in NYC.
I hope Joba gets attacked by bugs every game. Let’s face it, I hate
the Yankees.

3. Toronto Blue Jays
It’s just where they belong in life.

4. Tampa Bay Rays
I don’t like that they dropped the “Devil.” I feel bad for Kazmir and
think he should play for a better team.

5. Baltimore Orioles
Kevin Millar is still riding high on the 2004 World Series and
seriously sweating the balls of the Red Sox. The only reason I’ll pay
attention to the Orioles is for his color commentary – and hopefully a
guest spot rooting on the Red Sox during the World Series even though
he’s on a different team in the same division.

AL Central

1. Minnesota Twins
Joe Mauer will win the division on looks alone.

2. Detroit Tigers
I guess they’re supposed to be good, but I don’t pay any teams in the
“Central” divisions because I like to have the comfort that one of the
borders of the state I am living in is an ocean.

3. Chicago White Sox
OC!

4. Kansas City Royals
They’re not a really good team.

5. Cleveland Indians
They will have the worst record in baseball. That’s what teams that
don’t resign Trot Nixon deserve.

AL West
1. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I hate that they changed their name.

2. Seattle Mariners
I always think the Mariners are going to be good, but they’re usually
not very good.

3. Texas Rangers
I’m not a fan of Texas. Actually, Austin is nice.

4. Oakland A’s
I don’t like Moneyball.

NL East
(aka The Second of Two Divisions I Actually Pay Attention To)

1. New York Mets
With their acquisition, if they do not win, it will be a
disappointment. I’m going to miss the Real Jose Reyes. I hope he comes
back mid-season.

2. Philadelphia Phillies
I don’t like Philly much.

3. Atlanta Braves
I don’t like the fact that all of their games are nationally televised.

4. Washington Nationals
Lastings Milledge.

5. Florida Marlins
They just really suck.

NL Central
(aka Why Are There So Many Teams In This Division?)

1. Cincinnati Reds
Bronson Arroyo will win a Cy Young.

2. Chicago Cubs
I want to go to Wrigley Field someday.

3. Milwaukee Brewers
I like beer.

4. Houston Astros
This division is not very good.

5. St. Louis Cardinals
Eh.

6. Pittsburgh Pirates
I wonder if Justin Sane likes baseball.

NL West

1. LAD
I want to see the Derek Lowe Face in the playoffs again.

2. Colorado Rockies
I like Troy Tulowitzki.

3. Arizona Diamondbacks
Phoenix is a hot, hot, hot deserted fucking miserable place.

4. San Diego Padres
Maybe Josh Bard will be brought back to Boston escorted by state troopers.

5. San Francisco Giants
San Francisco’s calling us the Giants and Mets will play…

Playoffs:

AL

Boston over New York

NL

New York over Chicago

World Series

Boston over New York

I don’t even want to devote any time to Chris Henry. He doesn’t deserve the time of the unemployed, a group he is now a member of, as the Cincinnati Bengals have discarded their biggest tumor in a locker room full of cancers. Henry, in his most recent run in with the law, presuming he hasn’t been arrested since I clicked “New Post” thirty seconds ago, confronted an 18 year old and smashed the window to the teenagers car with a bottle. It’s a shame that talent is wasted on people like Chris Henry.

We’re nearing Friday morning and I have only one MLB Season Preview in my INBOX. This can be as simple as picking the World Series game or as thorough as the one email I’ve received, which you will see tomorrow. I’m just trying to make Mid-Atlantic Bias more interactive, without watering it down with ESPN-like polls that ask you, “Which picture do you like the most?”

The Kansas City Royals are an inning away from being 3-0. I really hope that this isn’t just one of those first week of the season stories that we forget about by mid-April.

From the ask and you shall receive department, Matthew requested my breakdown of the final 4 days of the NHL season. Here it is:

Eastern Conference:
As it stands, only 3 teams have clinched a playoff spot in the East (Penguins, Canadiens, and Devils) however, lets just go ahead and put the Rangers in the playoffs. That leaves us with the 3 seed, currently Carolina and the 6, 7, and 8 seeds. Currently, the Senators, Bruins, and Flyers occupy those spots, with the hottest team in the NHL, the Washington Capitals, in 9th, one point back of the Flyers, two points back of the Sens and B’s. The Sabres also find themselves only 3 points out, but for lack of a better argument, they’re done, as they have 2 fewer wins than Boston and Ottawa (wins are the first tiebreaker as it pertains to playoff seeding). There are two races here: The race for the Southeast Division between Washington and Carolina became very interesting on Tuesday night when the Caps beat the Canes at the Verizon Center. They find themselves two points behind Carolina. The Hurricanes have one game remaining (home on Friday against the Panthers). The Capitals have two (home tonight to Tampa Bay and home Saturday against the Panthers). The Capitals need Carolina to lose to Florida on Friday and win both of their games to win the Southeast. In any other sport, that would be completely feasible. Not, however, in the NHL, where the Hurricanes will play the most defensive hockey possible against Florida, to get into overtime, get their point and move on. CAROLINA WINS THE SOUTHEAST.

In terms of the race for the final spot, I do believe that Washington will win both of their remaining games. The Flyers will not win either game, against New Jersey and Pittsburgh. WASHINGTON WINS THE FINAL PLAYOFF SPOT. (The Bruins will continue to play no offense and sneak in to the playoffs as the 7 seed.

Your Final Eastern Conference Standings:

1. Pittsburgh Penguins
2. Montreal Canadiens
3. Carolina Hurricanes
4. New Jersey Devils
5. Ottawa Senators
6. New York Rangers
7. Boston Bruins
8. Washington Capitals

WESTERN CONFERENCE:
The Western Conference race sees Chicago chasing Vancouver and Nashville ahead of them with a crucial game between the Predators and Blackhawks on Friday night in Chi-Town. The Blackhawks are one of the best stories in the NHL this year, contending for the playoffs a few seasons before they should be. I don’t see the Hawks, however, making the playoffs, as they’re 3 points behind Nashville. So the race for the 8th spot comes down to the Predators and Canucks. Nashville’s other game is against the St. Louis Doormats. Vancouver gets the Calgary Flames and Edmonton Oilers in their final two games. The teams are separated by one point currently. Vancouver has the better team, frankly, and a far better goalie in Roberto Luongo. I’ll take Vancouver to win their remaining two games and the Preds to lose one of theirs. VANCOUVER WINS THE FINAL PLAYOFF SPOT

Your Final Western Conference Standings:

1. Detroit Red Wings
2. San Jose Sharks
3. Minnesota Wild
4. Anaheim Ducks
5. Colorado Avalanche
6. Dallas Stars
7. Calgary Flames
8. Vancouver Canucks

Game O’ The Day: Watch Baseball

Remember, Send Your 2008 MLB Season Previews by Noon Tomorrow to See Them Published on the Internet. Wooooo.

The Kansas City Royals are on the verge of taking two consecutive games from the Detroit Tigers at Comerica Park. I’m not panicking yet. I am, however, happy that the Royals are doing well. I like young teams. I also love Joey Gathright. Matt, you can proceed to pick up the pieces of your brain that just exploded from your cranium at my last statement.

Also, in regards to Senor Minton, you can read his response to my Jack Cust diatribe yesterday. I have only one comment in regards to his comment (go read his now before you read my response…go ahead….do it….ready?):

STATING THAT THE REASON WHY JACK CUST’S PRODUCTION NUMBERS WERE NOT AS GOOD AS POLANCO’S (SPEAKING ONLY ABOUT RUNS SCORED) WAS BECAUSE OF HIS PLACEMENT IN A BAD LINEUP MAKES ME LAUGH. THE ATHLETICS LINEUP IS CONSTRUCTED USING THE PRINCIPLES OF SABERMETRICS! SO THEIR SABERMETRIC-CENTRIC PLAYERS ARE BAD, WHICH MEANS THEIR SABERMETRIC-CENTRIC OVERBLOWN BLOWHARD GENERAL MANAGER IS BAD. I HOPE BILL JAMES GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SNOW SHOVEL!

(Please do not read this as a criticism of Matthew M. Minton. I love Matthew dearly. I just don’t love Matthew’s baseball philosophies, because I find them to be wrong. He feels the same about my baseball philosophies).

I mentioned earlier in the week that I would have my own personal awards for the NCAA tournament. Here they are:

-Most Outstanding Player East Region: Danny Green (North Carolina). As much as I hate him, he’s such an X Factor
-Most Outstanding Player Midwest Region: Stephen Curry (Davidson). Quite simply, the greatest four round performance by a single player on a team that is really bad without him. Davidson isn’t a CBI team without Stephen Curry. I love him and can’t wait for next season when he continues to get the press he deserves.
-The “I Told You So Award (Version 1): For that time over a month ago when I said in a Game O’ The Day piece “…you will be hearing about him (Curry) a lot come March.
-Most Outstanding Player South Region: Derrick Rose (Memphis). If he isn’t the first pick in the NBA draft, the team with the first pick should be demoted to the NBDL in favor of some team from Austin, Texas. Remember folks, Michael Beasley < Derrick Rose.
-Most Outstanding Player West Region: Kevin Love (UCLA). He finishes second to Psycho T for Player of the Year. Remember folk, Michael Beasley < Kevin Love.
-The “I Told You So” Award (Version 2): For that time many months ago when I picked 3 of the Final Four teams correctly.
-The “I’m a Jackass Who Knows Nothing” Award: Jason Botelho (Mid-Atlantic Bias) for putting USC into my Final Four before Round 1, right next to Duke.
-The “I Won’t Be Here For Long” Award (Coach Edition): Darrin Horn (Western Kentucky). He may be a Western Kentucky alum, but success breeds money. And The University of South Carolina has more of that than Western Kentucky.
-The “I’m Going to Parlay My Success Into a Really Bad NBA Career” Award: DJ Augustin (Texas). He’ll go pro. Get drafted in the top 15. Not pan out. Play in Europe in 5 years.
-The “I’m Going to Parlay My Non-Success Into No NBA Career” Award: Chris Lofton (Tennessee). He struggled against Louisville. He struggled against Butler. He even struggled against American. As a general rule, if you can’t hit 3’s against guys who live in the same building as me, you’re not going to succeed in the NBA.
-The Greatest Commercial Ever Award: Nike’s spots featuring assorted athletes and children commenting on their quick and their fast. If the Big 10 can have it’s own network, these commercials should be able to as well.
-The “I Won’t Be Here For Long” Award (Player Edition): Joe Alexander (West Virginia). Don’t do it, Joe. If you do, you’ll take DJ Augustin’s award away from him (and he’ll need awards, because he’ll never win one in the pros).
-The “We Didn’t Really Feel Like Showing Up” Award: UConn. Really? You couldn’t be The San Diego Terreros? Hasheem Thabeet…we hardly knew ye’.

Tomorrow, I will ramble some more about sports.

Game O’ The Day: Watch Baseball