LSU’s offseason full of departures continued today when they kicked their starting quarterback, the supremely talented and supremely stupid Ryan Perrilloux, off the squad. And so begins the throng of phone calls to Ryan from Arkansas State, Alabama State, Furman, etc. about coming to their school to “get an education” (see: Play Football…Major in Ceramics). I don’t really understand what is so difficult about staying out of trouble. I don’t understand how someone with all of the talent that Perrilloux possesses has to: use someone else’s ID to get into a casino, get into a fight outside of a bar, fail a drug test, skip classes, skip workout sessions, and skip film sessions. To say that Perrilloux did this because of entitlement issues is off-base. There is a large body of evidence to support the theory that if you are a talented football player with head issues, you will not be allowed to use your talents for very long in football. See: Adrian McPherson, Lawrence Phillips, Peter Warrick, et al. The last two were early first round picks who were out of the NFL before they did anything. The first was a supremely talented quarterback who because of issues like stealing blank checks, played behind Drew Weatherford and Wyatt Sexton before eventually being kicked off the team. The New Orleans Saints drafted him and soon after released him. He’s now a backup in the Arena Football League. This story frustrates me because I really like the Bayou Bengals (LSU). I love their insane head coach, Les Miles. I love that they play in a stadium called “Death Valley.” I love that their mascot is actually a real Bengal Tiger. There’s a mystique about them. A mystique that will very likely find them finishing in 3rd in the SEC West next year thanks in large part to a talented, immature quarterback who will soon try to re-make his name at a lower level of college football.

On the flip side of the coin, you have Troy Tulowitzki, a young player who I absolutely love. Tulo is the Colorado Rockies Shortstop. He finished second in the National League’s Rookie of the Year voting last year, and should have finished in first, not because I have a gripe with the award’s winner, Ryan Braun, but because when you consider his impact on a franchise that had been a circus side-show for years, you get his real importance. In the MLB Season Preview Issue of Sports Illustrated there was a great story about Tulo and how his arrival in Denver changed the mentality of an entire franchise, catapulting it to the World Series. Tulowitzki’s impact was first felt last May 21. The Rockies were 18-27 and had just lost to the Diamondbacks. Tulowitzki, a rookie, awoke his teammates by throwing equipment off the walls and screaming, “This team is too good to be playing this shit.” His teammates awoke and followed the declaration of Tulo, going 72-46 from that point on. Tulowitzki, like many athletes, has thrust himself into the Denver community through charitable work. The first thing he did with his newly minted contract was not buy an Escalade, some cocaine, and a prostitute. No, he bought his mother a house.

The reason why I chose to begin today’s post with the very different stories of Ryan Perrilloux and Troy Tulowitzki was because of the similarity (supremely talented athletes) and the differences (obvious). The Rockies announced yesterday that Tulo, who has struggled at the plate this year, will be out until at least the All-Star Break with a torn tendon in his quad muscle, a rare injury in baseball. One of two things will result from this injury: 1.) The time away from the game will allow Troy to get his head right when he steps into the batter’s box and he will continue to lead the Rockies franchise for years to come or 2.) The time away from the game will ruin him psychologically and he’ll never recover. Remember the name Bud Smith. Smith was a pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals who threw a no-hitter in his rookie season and finished the year with a 6-3 record and a sub-4.00 ERA. Smith never made it out of his second season. He struggled in the spring and has not pitched in the Major Leagues since. So no matter what team you side with, in the case of Troy Tulowitzki, please root for the first scenario.

Reader Jim gave me a very good idea for a feature of today’s post: My All-Love/All-Hate NBA Teams. The idea behind this is simple: Assemble a starting five (and a 6th man) of my favorite players and my least favorite player, not based on skill level, but based on that “something” that attracts or detracts me to that entity. Here, are those teams (remember, skill level is not a requirement for either team):

All-Love Team

PG: Chris Paul (New Orleans Hornets)
SG: Manu Ginobili (San Antonio Spurs)
SF: Kevin Durant (Oklahoma City Bombers…er…Sonics)
PF: Joakim Noah (Chicago Bulls)
C: Shaquille O’Neal (Phoenix Suns)
Sixth Man: Delonte West (Cleveland Cavs)

Breakdown: If I wanted to win games, my sixth man should probably be a center, but I love Delonte West too much to leave him off of the All-Love Team. I love Shaq too much to leave him off as well. Yes, he has no discernible skills left. However, he’s still a hilarious interview. Can you tell that I love young players?

All-Hate Team

PG: Stephon Marbury (New York Knicks)
SG: Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers)
SF: Carmelo Anthony (Denver Nuggets)
PF: Kenyon Martin (Denver Nuggets)
C: Ben Wallace (Cleveland Cavs)
Sixth Man: The Next NBA Player to Be Arrested

Breakdown: The point guard went on TV and talked about how great it was to kiss his sister and sells 12 pound cheap shoes at Steve and Barrys (for the kids), the SG is a rapist, the SF hates snitchin’ but loves drinking and driving, the PF has a tattoo on his chest that says “Bad Ass Yellow Boy” and is injured more than he plays, and the center, like Shaq has no discernible skills and couldn’t give a good interview or be a good teammate if his life depended on it. But hey, he’s good for a few rebounds!

Game O’ The Weekend: Going with the NBA would be easy here. And I will, however, I do want to bring light to Sunday’s Mets/Diamondbacks game because Johan Santana will oppose Dan Haren in the pitching matchup. That’s quality, kids. If you live in Arizona and read my blog, make sure you go to this game. And also, why do you read my blog if you live in Arizona?

The real game of the weekend is Game 1 between the San Antonio Spurs and the New Orleans Hornets. I’m excited for this series because the bandwagon I’ve been driving will face the team of the decade in the Western Conference Semi-Finals. New Orleans wins Game 1.

Back on Monday. Have a great weekend, all.