If you happen to be the mother of LeBron James and you happen to be near a mini-confrontation between your son and Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett happens to be in the area, perhaps it would be a good idea to sit your ass down and let your son handle his business.
And handle his business Bron Bron did last night. His shooting improved. He started smiling again. And he also made Kevin Garnett look very silly on his insane late 4th quarter dunk. Matt and I discussed LeBron vs. Kobe today. I take LeBron in a heartbeat, for a number of reasons. The first is that LeBron hasn’t, to my knowledge, raped anyone. The second, is because LeBron James is the most complete player since Oscar Robertson. LeBron rebounds, scores, passes (to terrible teammates no less), plays defense, coaches on the sidelines. He does everything (except shoot free throws very well). LeBron is the best dunker I have ever seen. Better than Vince Carter. Because LeBron uses dunks as a means to both score and draw contact. Vince only dunks on breakaways now. Kobe is the game’s best pure scorer; there is not even a hint of a counter argument there. However, Kobe only recently discovered that he is allowed to pass the basketball. And Kobe also plays with Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom. LeBron plays with Sideshow Bob, Bad Knees Wally, Herp Face, a guy named Boobie, and a man who makes George Muresan look athletic. My final point may be the most important:
Mike Brown vs. Phil Jackson
Today I had a slue of personal ideas for posts, but I remembered that the readers had questions and ideas, so I went back to my email inbox and wrote them all down. Consider today a mailbag addition.
-What are your thoughts on blowup dolls? (Kristen, NY)
A: I understood why this was a story a few weeks ago. Major League clubhouses are full of female reporters who have been subjected to sexual harassment for decades. As much as I love the man for his outspokenness, Ozzie Guillen was supposed to have taken sensitivity courses. If he actually got anything out of these, which he didn’t, he wouldn’t have allowed blow up dolls in his open clubhouse, for reporters to see. And really, it’s not that funny.
-What are your thoughts on Josh Beckett? (Kristen, NY)
A: Josh Beckett is good.
-Why does Matthew Minton have a perma-boner for UNH Basketball? (Ryan, NH)
A: In defense of Matthew, I understand his wanting to be a part of something bad turned good. I feel satisfaction at the moment from the Tampa Bay Rays rise towards the top of the American League, because I’ve been rooting for them since they started out as a franchise and have been saying for years that this team would win a World Series by 2014. By the looks of it, that World Series could come by 2010. Matt has bought into UNH basketball, for better or worse, because it will feel very good for him when his college’s basketball team that no one cared about, except for him, succeeds and wins the America East and finds itself in the big dance. Then, Matthew will be able to say that he has been riding that bandwagon since the key in the ignition turned. And it will feel good. This is the satisfaction that us wannabe athletes feels when our team of choice succeeds.
-What are your thoughts on Hanley Ramirez’s extension with the Florida Marlins? (James, VA)
A: Jim raises a good point in asking the question (I shortened it for the purposes of this post). The Marlins have proven that they do not need Hanley Ramirez. Trading away all of their young talent for younger talent to keep their budget low has not hurt them in the past. In fact, in the last 11 years, they’ve won 2 World Series titles. Only the Red Sox and Yankees have won that many in that amount of time. Big economic disparity there. Here’s my take: While Jim is right, I must admit that I love this move for the Marlins. They drastically underpaid for Hanley. On the open market this offseason, do you not think that the Red Sox would give him 15 million a year? Or the Angels? Or the Mariners? Or the Giants? You get the picture. The Marlins will be paying HanRam millions less than he would have been paid on the open market. So if the Marlins intend on paying their players (Dan Uggla should be next) and not trading them, this is a great step in a right direction. Perhaps this is a sign of change. Maybe the Marlins will get some fans. Maybe a ballpark to play in and not the cavernous orange monstrosity in North Miami that they play in currently.
An aside from the questions. These would be the current playoff matchups in baseball:
AL:
Boston vs. Minnesota
Oakland vs. Tampa Bay
NL:
Florida vs. St. Louis
Chicago vs. Arizona
(Did you have that a month and a half ago?)
-Breakdown the AL Central for Me (Matthew, NH)
A: Not so much a question, but I’ll let it slide for Matthew, the loyal, longtime Mid-Atlantic Bias reader. Currently, these are your AL Central Standings:
Minnesota
Cleveland 1.5 GB
Chicago 2.0 GB
Kansas City 4.0 GB
Detroit 4.5 GB
I personally don’t think there’s a chance on the planet earth that this division wraps up this way. Here’s a Categorical Ranking of this Division (this is all as presently constructed on paper, based on what we’ve seen and what we (I) expect):
Hitting:
1. Detroit
2. Cleveland
3. Chicago
4. Minnesota
5. Kansas City
Breakdown: I still refuse to acknowledge that the Tigers offense is worse than the Indians. The two teams aren’t far off, but I still like the Tigers power potential with Ordonez, Cabrera, and Sheffield better than the Indians’ with Hafner, Martinez, and um, Jhonny Peralta? Ryan Garko? Casey Blake? You get the picture.
Pitching:
1. Cleveland
2. Chicago
3. Kansas City
4. Detroit
5. Minnesota
Breakdown: This is where the Tigers have fallen off and I admit, I greatly over hyped their pitching. Cleveland has the best pitching staff in the division and it’s not even close. Chicago’s staff is being anchored not by Javier Vasquez and Mark Buehrle, but by Gavin Floyd and John Danks (castoffs from Philly and Texas, respectively). Minnesota’s staff on paper, beyond Joe Nathan, is atrocious.
Coaching:
1. Detroit
2. Minnesota
3. Chicago
4. Cleveland
5. Kansas City
Breakdown: Each team has a very respectable manager. To call Trey Hillman the worst manager in this division is not a slight to him.
Veteran Leadership:
1. Chicago
2. Minnesota
3. Cleveland
4. Detroit
5. Kansas City
Breakdown: The White Sox have a lot of veteran leadership in Paul Konerko, Orlando Cabrera, AJ Pierzynski, Buehrle, etc. The Twins have it as well in Justin Morneau and Livan Hernandez. Cleveland doesn’t really have a face. I’m not sure that Travis Hafner knows how to speak or Grady Sizemore knows how to do anything but look good. Detroit is in a similar state. And Kansas City is just too young.
So here is how I see the division ending up on September 28:
1. Cleveland
2. Chicago 5 GB
3. Detroit 5.5 GB
4. Minnesota 10.5 GB
5. Kansas City 19.0 GB
I would like to put Detroit at number 1, but through the first month and a half of the season, they haven’t played like the greatest team ever assembled. Cleveland has the best combo of hitting and pitching in the division, enough in my opinion to outweigh their lack of a team voice. The only thing I am sure of is that no one or two players are going to carry a team to this division’s title. And right now, Cleveland has the best team.
Game O’ The Day: San Antonio @ New Orleans. I’m afraid that the Hornets’ run will begin to become a walk tonight. Spurs win by 12. {Sigh}
Keep sending your requests and questions and we can have one of these a week. Or, if you hate it, don’t send any questions or comments. Tomorrow, I’ll have my 2008 MLB All-Under 25 team. Anticipate.
Mid-Atlantic Bias 
1. Why do you have so much hatred for the MVR? Is it because of the R?2. I’m glad you made the herpes reference. I made one this weekend and my friend said “Why do you know these things?” It makes me feel good to remember that someone knows many more useless facts about the personalities/lives of professional athletes.
I don’t actually think Delonte West has herpes, but I’m losing that argument.I don’t think there is any doubt that LeBron James is the most complete layer, and I think Oscar Robertson is a wonderful comparison. Kenny Smith may have stumbled upon a coherent point after our game 4 loss, when he said something along the lines of the fact that the Celtics no longer had a player capable of going for 40. I think he’s right, and unfortunately, I fear LeBron’s ability to do that in a potential game five or seven could be the end of us, because we cannot play defense on the road.I have a hard-on for UNH basketball because I have a lot of pride in the teams I’m “supposed” to root for. UNH tried every single game last season, despite being undermanned, undersized and undertalented. They were three wide-open three point attempts away from making the America East semi-finals. My hard on for UNH Basketball does not come close to Football, either.I like the White Sox to win the Central. I think they clearly have the best lineup (Thome and Konerko are underperforming, and they still have Crede, Quentin, Swisher, Pierzynski and Dye, along with Cabrera). I don’t think Floyd or Danks are really for real, particularly Floyd with his terrible K/BB, but Buerhle will get better.
Great Job Man. I can definitely see you being a sports writer at some point in your career. If you hadn’t thought about trying to get into writing, I think you should give it some thought. Anywho, as for what “Matt” said…”Kenny Smith may have stumbled upon a coherent point after our game 4 loss, when he said something along the lines of the fact that the Celtics no longer had a player capable of going for 40. I think he’s right, and unfortunately, I fear LeBron’s ability to do that in a potential game five or seven could be the end of us, because we cannot play defense on the road.” I have to disagree there. As far as the lack of 40 point scorer, yes this is true. But that is merely due to the fact that the Celtics are more a “TEAM” rather than a “give the ball to him and we will be over here” team. On any night, Pierce Garrnett, and Allen can go for a combined 60. But because they share the ball, it isn’t always necessary and that is where role players such as Rondo, Posey, and Perk come in and fill the stat sheet where it is necessary. Basketball is a Team sport and it take the team to play as a team in order to win games. Hence, “Unbutu.” This is why the Celtics have won 66 games this season and the Cavs only won 45 and have merely been a .500 team since their big trade. I can’t wait to get rid of the Cleveland Lebrons and move onto Detroit Piss-stains.-Alex
“Piss-stains” is quite the studly remark. as for the “mailbag” format, i enjoyed it quite a bit. i understand why matt has a “hard-on” for unh as i went to a few games this season, and for the most part enjoyed them. in terms of questions i would like to know who your favorite to win the NCAA lax tourny here in boston next week is? Duke (#1) beat loyola pretty handly and has been playing well this year. they have beat virgina (#2) twice this year once by double digits. virgina almost lost to UMBC in the first round. it seems like duke, anchored behind great team defense is going to walk away with it but do you have any thoughts that might suggest otherwise?